A Blessing In Disguise

I have been so busy lately that I fully understand how adults live their lives. How they do ten things in one day ? I mean I go somewhere in a day and then I am passed out. My fuel tank gets empty just after a single outing in a day. But for the past week or so, I have had to do so many things at once. Recently I literally had dinner and then shopped in my uniform. I felt like school was never off for me. I have been coming home at 5 pm or 11 pm without a break in between. I don't live like this.

Anyway, we were going to the Indonesian Embassy this past Sunday and there was this 14 year old girl with us. She is a very sweet, intelligent, one of those girls who is liked by all. She is involved in extra curricular activities too and so we know each other.  And she told me this amazing story of her life. She goes like you know I am adopted. And I am like ooh congratulations. Yes. My reaction was very bad. Anyway she further goes on that her parents adopted her from her mom's sister. So its a family adoption but nonetheless an adoption. All I could think was of that now she is going to tell me that she hates her parents and wishes she could go back to her birth parents. But she said the total opposite. She goes like, I came to know about myself through my grandparents last year. And my mom does not know this. I do not want her to know because it will hurt her very badly. She has already been hurt a lot and has faced a lot of problems because she did not have any kids. My dad knows that I know. I love my parents more than anything else in the world. I would never leave them or go back to my birth parents. I love my birth parents too. But they will always be my Khala (Aunt) and Khalo (Uncle). 

I have a twin. He is totally opposite to me. I am loud and he is quiet. I am healthy and he is skinny. I am careless and he is responsible. I love him because I have always wanted a brother and now I have one. I just wish that my family could stop pretending that we are cousins when we are siblings. Because sometimes being the only kid drives me crazy. But I would not want to change anything. I want to grow up, be independent and support my parents. I want my parents to be proud of me. I want to take care of them. 

And my mouth is hanging wide open and I feel nostalgic. Because the few adoption cases I have witnessed have all ended up in a disaster by the kid being a jerk and a fool. I hugged her. I said to her that do not ever let go of your parents hand. Be who you are today. In this era kids your age are very seldom as responsible as you are. I am so happy that being only 14 you know what is right and wrong, when at times even I do not.  And always be like this. 

And I said that you are an example that yes, sometimes adoption does makes everything better. Its a blessing in disguise. You are just making the world a better place by giving kids what you can. Why does it matter if their genes do not match yours ? Their hearts will match yours. Their love and care will. You just wait for it. You just wait for the miracle. 

...SAP...

Quote Of The Day

...SAP...

You Cannot Have Everything

I am one of those people who cannot write without being inspired and lately my inspiration have been running very low. And I really want someone or something to inspire me to write again. I want fire. I want ice. I want extreme because I believe that words come to me when I believe in something.

So I was watching Gossip Girl. I am not really a fan of it but I watch it because of Chuck and Blair. So in season 6, they make a pact to each other that they will not be together before they do the most important things in their life. For Blair that thing is making her own fashion line a huge success and for Chuck it is to bring his fathers true face alight to the world. In the latest episode Blair succeeds making her fashion line "B" a huge success after a series of failed attempts but unfortunately Chuck fails after betting everything that he has. So he says to Blair that they cannot be together. And when she comes back to her office, all her staff is there waiting for her to celebrate, she smiles but her smile is not perfect because it is not from the heart. Among all the success something is missing. She got something but not everything. And thing is she had worked for everything.

I realized that when we work for something and work really hard for it. We want 100%. Because we know that that is how much we worked and that is how much we deserve. Things don't hold as much meaning when you don't get the 100%. But you have to live with it because it is life. And giving up means that you have given up on yourself. You didn't get 100% does not mean that you are not good at that thing.

It is like baking a Chocolate Cake. You put in all the ingredients and follow the instructions of the recipe but the cake does not turns out to be like the picture on the box. It is good but not as good as it should be.

We all need to learn a very important lesson and that is you cannot always have everything in life. Once I said to my dad, why does Allah not give us everything that we want ? And he said that if He gives you everything now, you will not have anything in the hereafter. So He is saving some for the hereafter. It is okay if you did not get the 100%, just remember there is someone else who is in your league and does not get 100% either.

...SAP...

It Is A Shooting Star

I remember being little and looking at the sky. Its always been one of the best things in my life. It has always fascinated me and I wondered how could something so dark and mysterious hold so much beauty and meaning in it.

I remember I was 7 or 8 years old and we were in Pakistan. My mom, my cousin and I were sitting on the porch stairs. They were talking and all of a sudden there was this silver thing that passed over the sky like lightening. It was beautiful and fast and it left silvery sparks behind like leaving some kind of momento for you to look over and remember forever. I asked my mom what it was and she said, Sumaica, it is a shooting star. They are very rare and only special people get to witness them so if you see them, know that you are very special. She also said that Sumaica, life is also like a shooting star, it is very fast and once it goes, it never comes back. So make sure that you live your life like no one else and be a person that you yourself will be proud of one day. And I said to her, I just want to know what it does. And she said that it gives you hope that there are unexpected  things in life which are good just like a shooting star, so don't worry life is not one train ride.

I don't know if I am that myself. I don't think any one of us knows if we are that person. But I think that everyday we try to be a better person and sometimes we forget the promises that we made to ourselves. I feel as if at times, we get lost in helping others and forget that we need to help ourselves too.

Teeba said to me that why is it that there are so less stars in the sky these days ? Back when we were little, the sky used to be filled with stars. It used to be a magical kingdom. And I said, maybe its because they do not like to see who the human race has become. Like we don't like to live in a polluted area because it smells or its injurious, just like that our evil and bad deeds are keeping the stars away.

I have always heard people say that whenever you see a shooting star, wish for your deepest desires from the bottom of your heart and they will come true. I don't believe in these things but you can always try to materialise your wish yourself instead of asking someone else. Be your own genie.

...SAP...

Is This Right ?

Why is it that we feel for fictional characters? We feel the pain and the joy of the characters in a movie or a TV show. As time passes by we get attached to them. We start living our lives with them. They become a part of our lives. Their joys and griefs become our joys and griefs. We cry at their funerals and their wedding.  But sometimes we do not feel for the real people. I don know why but we just don't. They become our friends and they becomes our enemies. We curse over someone cheating on their partner and we want to punch them. We celebrate their Birthday in the schools bus (Yes, I celebrated Ian Somerhalder's B'day in the school bus. Not one o my proudest moments. And it was NOT my idea). We comment on their clothes. Their lives become our lives.

Somehow we relate to those characters and they become more attached to us then the real people in our lives. Maybe it is because we expect a lot from the people in our lives and we cannot face disappointment. Or its just that they are not that beautiful. Maybe its because the image that we have created of them in our minds shatters and we have to see those people for who they really are. Not for what we thought they were.

There are so many times that I have loved book characters and related with them. I feel as if somehow I can understand who they really are but not understand who the real people are. If that even makes sense. Because it is just really hard to figure people out. People are mean. Down right mean. I am just talking in a general sense. Its like one minute you praising them and the next you will be like, you did not just say that. Because it totally ruined your image in my eyes. I know that at times I myself might have done the same thing to people and I hope they didn't curse me. Sorry people.

Despite all that, you need real people in your life. Their meanness and other not so good qualities kind f balances your life and makes it more real. Otherwise I would think that I am living in books or movies. When someone asked me what would you wish for if you had the chance ? And I replied, a day in one of my favourite book. I was like 10 and I got this super weird and annoyed look from that aunt because she thought I would say like dolls or clothes or something. I guess I am too much of a bibliophile. So just be grateful that you have mean people in your lives.

P.S.I cannot believe I went from emotional drama to downright mean myself.

...SAP...

I Live Away From Home

Last year my very best one and only sister wrote an article titled, "Living Away From Home" and she mentioned all the things that she misses while living abroad. When I read it, I thought to myself that why is she being so sentimental and emotional ? So what ? It is not a big deal. I love Qatar. I don't have a problem living away from Pakistan. Yes. There are great things about Pakistan but I just don't see the diamond studded picture that can make me miss Pakistan. Its just one of the other countries on the map for me. I didn't give it a second thought and life went on.

But last Friday, I realised that Yes! I do live away from home. And yes ! Pakistan is home. You see it was my cousins Nikah ceremony. Now, we are a very small family and this is the first guy whose Nikah it was and we all pretty close. Because it all happened so suddenly within a week, we couldn't go and attend it. On the day of Nikah, my father called and my cousin (his elder and only sister) picked up and she told my dad that they were all getting ready and would leave for the ceremony in an hour. And I wanted to wear heels, spend hours at getting ready, wear those beautiful clothes and just be there. We called again after the Nikah to talk to everyone and congratulate them.  And I just had this emptiness in me. I had this longing to be there. I wanted to be there to enjoy the moment with my family. It was the first time in my life that I wanted to be in Pakistan rather any where else.

That day I realised that despite what I say and what I believe, deep down for me, my home has been and always will be Pakistan. It is like you realise the importance of something when you don't have it anymore and you think that you can get it back whenever you want but that's not how it works. You have to stick to what you have. I really did see the diamond studded picture which made me want to just fly out there and be with them. I really despised our lack of flying abilities on this auspicious day.

When you see a part of your family going through an important phase of their life and you so wish to be there for them but its the thousands of miles that stand between you and your home. You realise that the things you took for granted and never gave a second thought are the ones that are essential in your life and at the end of the day you are nothing without those things. I really am nothing without my family, without my identity, without my home. When you live abroad, you have the satisfaction that there are people back at home who will always be there to welcome you with open arms and no matter what life throws at you they will back you up. So, with immense pride I admit that I live away from home.

...SAP...

He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

-William Butler Yeats

...SAP...

I, You And We

I am me

I am who I am meant to be

I am my past, my present

And who I want to be

I am not anyone, I am all three

I am a work in progress

A destiny

I am who I choose to be

I am me

You are you

You are who you are meant to be

You are your past, your present

And who you want to be

You are not anyone, you are all three

You are a work in progress

A destiny

You are who you choose to be

You are you

We are we

We are who we want to be

We are our past, our present

And who we want to be

We are not anyone, we are all three

We are a work in progress

A destiny

We are who we choose to be

We are we

                                                                                             -Sumaica Asad Piracha               

...SAP...

Just A Thought

An anonymous text from the Tradition says that, in life, each person can take one of two attitudes: to build or to plant. The builders might take years over their tasks, but one day, they finish what they are doing. Then they find they are hemmed in by their own walls. Life loses its meaning when the building stops.

Then there those who plant. They endure storms and all the many vicissitudes of the seasons, and they rarely rest. But, unlike a building, a garden never stops growing. And while it requires the gardener's constant attention, it also allows life for the gardener to be a great adventure.

Gardeners always recognize one another, because they know that in the history of each plant lies the growth of the whole World.
                                                 -Brida, Paulo Coelho

Our teachers are like gardeners too. They plant seedlings of knowledge in us and we grow up, those seedlings become plants. They efforts never go to waste. Because somewhere in the world, there fully grown plants are benefiting the world in one way or another. When you think of it, there have been so many gardeners in our life starting from the age of 4 years. Every single on one of them played a role in making us who we are today.

To me even writers are like gardeners. What they write, whether it is fiction or biography, its their plant. Their writing never stops benefiting the world and its people. The authors themselves enjoy the glory and the satisfaction of all that they have done. Maybe some day my writing will also benefit people. To me, there is no use of writing if it does not benefit me, my country and its people. Hopefully, one day, this will be a reality.

...SAP...

Definition Of Beauty

Today, it is my parents 20th wedding anniversary. And I am so proud to be there daughter. If someone asks me to define beauty, I would simply say that it is my parents. Two people who work from day to night to make sure that I could achieve everything I want. If I have something good in me, it is because of them. They are my mirror and I want to be their reflection. 

They are the kind of people who if go from a gathering, the whole gathering will talk about them for days and in good words. In a 5 minute meeting, people ask for their phone numbers. And do not even ask about their social circles. I do not have that and I probably never will.

Somehow over the years they made it work. Whenever I see around myself, I see people getting divorced and fighting all the time, not talking to each other for days. That is the time when I thank Allah for giving me such a NORMAL family. Believe me, it is very rare these days. And somehow my belief becomes a little strong. Because they have sacrificed so much for each other and than for us.

Don't get me wrong, they disagree like a pretty normal couple and argue over it and then we are asked us to take sides. That sight is one to watch. But when they agree on something then believe me they are like a wall in which you cannot put a dent. So our best strategy is not to let both of them agree on the same thing. Works every time for us. Not really. (Guilty grins).

Recently, I asked my dad to tell something to my mom about me and he said, sorry you want the bull to be charged at me. That ain't happening girl. Go tell her yourself and have the bull after you.

Once I remember, a family friend of ours said that it would be so cool if we could choose our parents ourselves and my mom said, you will get the chance in paradise. Truth is I will still choose the parents I have today. Who fret over every single little thing like drinking milk.

We were on Umra in Makkah and my dad couldn't go. I was using my Qatar's international sim but I couldn't recharge it from KSA. SO I asked my dad to send me credit from Qatar. The whole day passed and I didn't get the credit and I was like, OMG, Sumaica, he forgot. He actually forgot to send you credit. But when I checked my balance was QR 100. At that moment I realised that the world can move from one place to another but Asad Latif Piracha will never forget anything that his daughter asks him to do.

I wish them all the best for their life together ahead. May they live for a thousand years. May all the happiness of the world be theirs. May they bicker and argue like kids at times but support each other at all times. May they live to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary and I get to be there to make fun of them and remember all the good old golden days. May they always be the best parents that they always have been.

HAPPY 20th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY !

P.S. Dedicated to my not only beautiful but out of this world parents, Mr and Mrs Asad Latif Piracha.

...SAP...

Teenage Is Like A Bud

When I became a teenager, it seemed like a fantasy with so much excitement and beauty in it. But in these five years of my teenage I have realised that when people said that teenage is the most difficult phase of your life, they were right. Somehow all that I went through from the smallest things to the biggest made me realise that teenage is not the fantasy that we all think it is. You see, sometimes the silver lining of even this cloud dims a little bit.

You make decisions that will effect the rest of your life. And you do not want to end up regretting it. But teenage is a very young age to determine the rest of your life. As adults you know what you have to do even if you do not want to do it. You know the difference between wrong and right. How can you expect a 16 year old day dreamer to choose what kind of profession does he or she wants to pay their bills and taxes in future? You go through everything that adults do. But difference is while they are 36, you are just 16.

Picture taken by Sumaica Asad Piracha

Teenage from a perspective is the most cruel age of your life. When you are an adult, somehow you are strong enough to stand up for yourself. But not as a teenager. You are bullied, made fun of, and expected to do well in all walks of life. No screw ups. Sail your ship in the right direction. 

Nobody cares about the fact that you are still like a bud. It takes time for a bud to blossom. It needs work and attention. And when it blossoms. Its hidden and true beauty is there, right in front of you. There is a big difference between a bud and a flower. A bud is very delicate, pretty but not with its full glory. Moreover, a bud is dependent. Whereas a flower is strong, beautiful and independent. You need to water and take care of the bud in order to get the beauty of flower. You need to protect the bud from all kinds of storms. Just like that, teenagers need someone to water them with the knowledge and guidance of solving not only everyday matters but also life making issues. 

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship". -Helen Keller

Storms, rains, come our way. People, young and old try their best to pluck and destroy us, so we may never be as beautiful as a flower. But we need to understand that we are NOT helpless like a bud. We have the power to make them stop. We are the power. We may be young and not fully blossomed. But we are not weak. We are strong. We are what the world needs right now. We are the change in the world. We are the revolution. We the buds need to be strong so that we can fully blossom and be a beautiful and independent flower and make this world a garden worth praising.

P.S. For all those teenagers who think that they do not matter. They matter. They just need to see it.

...SAP...

Creating The Future We Want

"Future" is a very significant word. Whenever we think about our future a colourful picture is visualised in our mind which is full of hope, peace, respect and love. But do we know how to paint this picture and make this a reality ? Nowadays all we see is death of human kind due to war and famine, cheating and betraying the people close to us. People have lost their humanity, grown cold and are slaughtering each other only to protect their egos. Is that the kind of future we are looking forward to ?

"People are created to be loved and things are created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used."

In my opinion, the only key to create the future we want is "US". We are the new generation which is a thousand times more efficient and better than the old one. As it is well said, "UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT IS THE NEXT GENERATION OF BEAUTIFUL". We have to believe in ourselves and think that we have what it takes to bring revolution in this world. We should always take a stand against what we know is wrong.

 "Courage is to stand when nobody else will stand with you".

But if we want to bring change in this world for a better future than we should first change ourselves. As it is well said by Mahatma Gandhi,

"Be the change you want to see in the world".

The best changes often start by a single simple thought. Thing big and discover the ways to change your future. Are you honest with your teachers ? Do you never cheat in tests ? Do you stand up against the class bullies ? All these little things play a huge part in changing your future because if you are not an honest, confident and standing up for what you believe in kind of person, then how can you expect to bring revolution to this world ? How are other people going to trust you and work with you ? If we all first try to look inside ourselves and change our mistakes and flaws and stop holding grudges against other people then the world would automatically become a paradise on earth and we will easily get the kind of future we want.

"Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence". -Aristotle

As it is well said by Julie A.Carney in her poem, "Little Things", that

"Little deeds of kindness,                                                                                                                  Little words of love,                                                                                                                             Make our earth an Eden,                                                                                                                      Like the heaven above".

Today our life is surrounded by amazing high tech technologies, all to make our life easier. In the means of making our life easier we have made it lazier and dependent. We have forgotten the pleasure of doing our work ourselves. We just keep seeking comfort zones and letting other people do our work. To have a successful future, we must enjoy the work  we do not think of it as a burden but as a responsibility and take it very seriously. We should use technology in a good way like to socialize with people and send informative messages to others. Technology is a strong means to revolution. But we should use it a healthy way and not get addicted to it. Nowadays we lack something very important and that is unity. Because without unity it is impossible to achieve the kind of future we want. We have to always remember that the person sitting right next to you is no less capable in doing his work then you are. We should never bully others and criticize them or make fun of them. Because making someone feel like a failure will never make you a successful person. As it is said,

"Bullying others makes you neither tough nor impressive. It makes you stupid and rude".

In every aspect of life our behaviour towards other people plays a big role in our future. As it is well said,

"Behaviour is the mirror through which the internal beauty is reflected". 

All the things that we do every hour, minute and second of our day are the things which impact our future. Everyday is a step towards our future and if we take the right steps eventually we will have the kind of future we want. SO everyday, we should take a moment to think that today, have I taken the right steps ? An have I done something worthy enough to change the future ?

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning. But anyone can start today and make a whole new ending".

Dean Acheson said,

" Always remember that the future comes one day at a time".

P.S. This is the essay my friend wrote and this is her first attempt at writing. Written by Aisha Malik.

...SAP... 

                                                                  

Ability

Ability is to look at a blank page,
And create a poem.
Ability is to stare in the eyes of fear,
And come out stronger because of it.
Ability is to walk into a room of strangers,
And come out with friends.
Ability is to admit you are wrong,
When you are wrong.
Ability is to get back up,
When you fall down.
Ability is to believe,
When everything seems lost.

Ability - a simple word, with a complex meaning.
For many, ability is never found, but for all ability is within.
Ability stare everyone in the face at one time or another.
Whether your ability is hoe well you shoot hoops,
How well you flip at dancing,
How smart you are at school.
You have ability.
For some, ability is lost by never trying.
Whether never trying to shoot one more time,
Never trying to bend a little more,
Or never trying to score higher in school.

Ability is within.
Ability is yours.

-Selina E. Matis

P.S. This is one of my favourite poems.

...SAP...

And The Victory Is Still Mine

"You are still the head girl in my eyes. Ask my heart and the answer will be the same". 

This was said by a teacher who never even taught me. And yes, the title of Headgirl went to a great friend of mine. So, we were standing in the middle of the wing and all around me I could hear girls shouting mine and Ghina's name and waving their hands. The V.P calls my name and everybody thinks that I have won and the whole wing erupts in an uproar but the next minute it is announced that one of best friends and also counterpart won by a lead of 20 votes. This was totally unexpected but that is what is life about.

I smile and pretend everything is fine when I know that I am not fine. I am smiling and shaking hands and my own smile feels fake to me. A friend of mine literally lifts me up (Awkward). I am physically present in the class but mentally I am far away from everything. All I want to do is pour down my emotions on a piece of paper. And I do. In that two hours, nothing and everything is going through my mind and all I want to do is cry. Because I have never been able to take a loss gracefully. That is just not me. I have learnt to do it. Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for her. I just am not happy for myself.

The bell rings and school is finally over. I come out of the class and my biggest supporter, a girl from 7th grade is standing their tears in her eyes. She goes on crying saying that this is not fair, you should have won. That is the moment I realised that what I thought of as a defeat is actually my victory. In life, we win some fights, we lose some. But I won this one. I won the hearts of people. I got the love, support and their belief in me. They believe in me. My class stood by me all this time because they love me. Because they believe in me. And it is not only me but hundreds of others who are shocked and think that I should have won.

Somebody said to me,

"Life is very unpredictable. What happened today is the perfect example. One moment I was standing there laughing and shouting at the top of my voice and could not control my happiness and the next minute I was still laughing and shouting but something had gone amiss. That was when I realised that I always wanted you to win. In fact all of us wanted to."

I came home and I waited for the tears to come and to break down but instead I smiled. And it felt real. Because this win means more to my friend then it will ever to me. She truly deserves it. And also because I found something priceless that can never be compared with being head girl. I have started going deep into things and actually am learning to see the depth of things and that happiness and success can be achieved from simple things whether it is the loss of something. All of this truly made my day and now here I am blogging about my victory with a smile as wide as my mouth can go.

...SAP...

Greatness Lies Within

There are two kinds of people in this world. One who remember other people. The other who are remembered by other people. Decide which are you ? Or which do you want to be ? Do you want the world to remember you ? Do you want your name to go down in history as that girl who did this great thing ? Do you want kids to remember your name and learn about you fifty years from now ? Even if that kid is your own grandchild.

History does not keep record of each and every person that have lived. Only those who make a mark on it. Whether that mark is big or small. Whether it is negative or positive. Hitler is remembered for being the worst dictator and for destruction of thousands of lives. His name is synonym with fear and death. On the other hand, Gandhi and Quaid-e-Azam are remembered as freedom fighters. A soldiers of peace and unity. They sacrificed their lives doing what they believed in. So everybody has his or her place in this world and that is how history remembers you.

Remembering people is easy but being remembered is the hard part. The key to being remembered is to do great things. And by great it is not meant that you do great things. Greatness lies in the little things we do. Like removing a tone or a branch of tree. Or feeding a beggar.  Giving your crayons to some other kids to use. You never know that the branch you removed, saved somebody's life. The scenery that kid made with your crayon brought a smile to the kids widow mother.

Sometimes we fail to recognise the greatness that is ourselves. We fail to recognise our own actions.  But we should remember that greatness lies withing ourselves. And in our actions. Somewhere somebody will remember your small deed and treasure it for the rest of his life.

...SAP...

The Girl With The Words - Speechless

 Thursday. September 20, 2012.

You know when your day suddenly goes from normal to emotionally priceless day that you can never ever forget.Today was "THE" day. I really can't describe today but I will try my best. So, I have been nominated for the Head Girl of the school, along with three others. And we have been campaigning since last week. Today, while going for the morning assembly, someone handed me these circulars which had this written on it.

Then in break the real fun started. The other section started this walk for their candidates. So my class also went for it. We were doing it for our class but all of a sudden the chanting went from 2nd year A to Sumaica. When we went upstairs in the younger classes corridors, each and every girl, from 5th to eight was hanging from their class windows or in the corridors with us, chanting Sumaica, Sumaica, Sumaica. I didn't even know the name of the girl next to me, let alone the others. The next minute I see, some of us are standing on this bench and our opponents are in a bench opposite to us. People just keep coming to me, shaking my hand and yelling my name. I didn't even know what to say to them. I was so shocked and amazed to see so many people there. Imagine a thousand girls shouting and screaming your name and you are standing their, grinning like an idiot, wanting so bad to cry and just speechless. I am the one with the words, yet I was left speechless today.

A girl grabs my hand and taking me aside tells me that you know your opponents are spreading rumours about you being rude and all and you lost some of your votes.  Then some other girls come up to me and say that, your whole wing is with you and Inshallah you will win. Even if by chance you don't win, you are our Head Girl and you always will be. That moment was priceless for me. And I realised that this is all I wanted. That maybe somewhere in there I did something good that today not only my class but somehow the whole wing not only stands by me but also believes in me. I am glad, I never gave up on anything.

Then we moved from the bench to the canopy in the middle of our wing and this huge crowd is screaming with madness. And all I can think of is how lucky I am to be here. To be who I am.  Afterwards girls were giving me cards with "You are the princess" and God knows what else written on it. There was this one girl who was so crazy, she had covered her hands with my name and made others do it too. And while I was attending my extra classes, she sat outside my class and made fliers for two hours.

 I have realised that when you set your mind to do something, all you need is will and determination to do it. Someone asked me that, is your whole class voting for you and I replied, yes ofcourse. She was like, how come ? I replied, I spent 5 years developing unity in my class and proving that we are the best. This is my hard work paying off. This is for all those times I stood by them and believed in them and I know, on the way even annoyed them but I became their true classmate.

I never thought I will find this kind of love in this school. To be honest I never liked it much and didn't pay heed to it. But I know that success can come from the smallest of the things. Now I know that I don't need the votes to win. For me, I have already won. This was my win. Sumaica Asad, today was truly your day.

P.S. Dedicated to my awesome class, 2nd year A and then to each and every girl who is crazy enough to believe in me.

 ...SAP...

I Made A Difference.

Today in English class, a girl came to me and handed me an article for the school magazine. I happen to be the Student Editor of this year. I couldn't wait to get my hands on it and start reading it. But I had to wait for the teacher to finish. My friends wanted to read it first but I couldn't let them read the fruit of my hard work. I started reading it and when I finished, I wanted a moment to myself and cry over this seemingly small but huge to me, victory. I was like, I wrote this. This is my hard work. This is my ambition. This is what I believe in. I could see her thoughts and her words in front of me on paper.

"Some things have to be believed in, to be seen". -Ralph Hodgson 

You see the girl is Aisha Malik. Five years ago, I met her when I started going in the school bus and overtime we became best buddies. She is two years younger than me. Five years ago she was a hard core studying person. She still is. But the person who didn't even used to touch books now buys them in bulks. She started reading and I just felt so proud and happy. Then she wrote a poem for this project in school. And  I asked her to write something and she did. I mean she just needed a little motivation to write.

Somewhere in there I made a difference. It is not that big a thing but it is for me. This world need more readers as well as writers. Today, not only am I proud of her but somehow I am also proud of myself. Truth is, if you ask her she will tell you that I never forced her to read or even to write. I didn't even know myself that I would be making a difference. This means more than anyone will ever understand. You get that feeling when you dream of something and your dream comes true. That is how I feel. For the first time, I know that this is how a teacher feels when its students pass with flying colours.

I will post her article in a few days. Wait for it. It is worth a read. For me it is priceless.

...SAP...

Stranger In The City !

November 1, 2006.  2:00 p.m.

The moment I entered Qatar. It was a clear cut day with blue skies and bright sunshine. We stopped for a while and I was walking along the Qatari border and I felt like a stranger in this unknown land, felt like an alien who had invaded this unknown planet. Everything felt strange and odd. Even the blue sea felt like a stranger to me. I was a stranger in the city. That day changed my whole life. I did not know it at that moment but my perspective of life changed.

Things happen to you all the time and they happen for a reason even though you may not realise it at that moment. Some things are good, some are bad but for me this was the worst. For years I had travelled and lived in K.S.A. Now I was in a place I had never heard of. All I saw was a road ahead stretched to the longest point imaginable to me. I thought what had made me come into this land of strangers. I hated it at first sight. I mean, come on from my point of view, I was forced to leave everything behind, my awesome school, my friends, my skating team and my home. K.S.A was home. All I had now left were memories. I was filled with hatred towards this small land. I thought that I wouldn’t last here long and then I would go back but I was proven wrong.

During the ride in the city, whenever I looked out of the car, all I saw were big ugly Land Cruisers surrounding me. They were everywhere and I thought don’t these people have any other car. Then I was stuck in the traffic jam. Ugh. I hated it even more. The scenario of the city was so ugly, there were construction signs everywhere and digging was going on. The skyscrapers did not appeal to me. To me it looked like they are falling on you.

November 22, 2006

First day at the new school. Everyone remembers their first day at a new school. I for one will never, ever forget mine. It made everything worse. Being the new kid at school is horrible but being a complete stranger in an unknown desert is so much worse. New country, new city, new house, new school, new classmates, it was too much for me to take in at once.I hated to get up in the mornings and go to school because for me school was torture. I was just so different from the others there.

Even the corniche with its skyscrapers, bizarre lights and palm island didn’t appeal to me. I felt like I didn’t belong here.I just couldn’t understand the mystery behind it. Why people loved this strange and small land? What was there that I was missing? My evenings were spent in playing basketball with my brothers because I had nothing else to do.

But one day, I don’t exactly remember which one, everything changed. That was the day I met her. My first actual friend in Qatar. She was very ordinary but among her I found something special. That was our friendship. I don’t remember how we became friends but I remember all those days with her. Day by day, I felt less like a stranger and more at home. Sharing lunch, eating Doritos, laughing at silly jokes and sitting in the forbidden grassy land became a routine and I had fun. She became a part of my life. She meant the world to me because among her I had found my happiness. I found myself opening to her. She became my best pal. We used to roam aimlessly in the school grounds. We used to do forbidden things and break the rules. But life became fun. It became beautiful. I forgot my lonely stranger days and looked forward to the happy fun days. Sitting together, sharing the latest Hollywood gossip, chatting, reviewing the latest watched movies became our routine.

At night, I roamed in Abu Hamour doing a little sight seeing on the bonnet of our car. I learnt to drive my dads Mercedes at 11 near the Qatari border.

The land I hated at first, I fell in love with it the next. This city which was like a stranger to me became my best friend. I fell in love with the sunsets and sunrises of this little magical land. Playing golf and swimming in its clubs became my hobbies. To this day I have never understood its magic.

Now if I have a million opportunities, I wouldn’t even think about going back. I fell in love with its people, its sand, its beaches, its falling over skyscrapers and not to forget its cars. Roaming on its streets late at night, getting caught in the rains, I love it.

Many people come and go from this land, some admire it, some like it, some find it boring, some hate it but some like me, fall in love with it.

P.S. Dedicated to Zartasha Arooj Shahid, a friend who I loved more than anything else. This is something I wrote a long time ago. 

...SAP...

Poem: Mountains !

Sky high,

Shadows behind,

They stand with all their might,

And all their glory.

Man should learn,

To be straight,

And to be that respectable,

Something they have.

Sometimes blue,

Sometimes grey,

They play hide and seek

With all the colours in them.

Like a knight

Ready with his sword,

To charge in a battle field

They appear.

P.S. Wrote this poem while travelling back from K.S.A. One more 15 minutes poem.

...SAP...

A Page From My Diary !

I was cleaning my cupboard and I found a very old diary of mine with just the following lines

Dear Diary
Men in our society are so dominant and I hate it. What happened to equality? They want everything to be done their way. The minute you say something against their will, they will swell up with anger just by the fact that a girl shared her opinion. And I am not talking about the poor people. I am talking about the educated people. People who hold Master degrees, PhD etc. Yet at the end of they day their thinking is no different than a common poor villager. What is the difference between the two?

I have realised that driving a Mercedes or having a PhD doesn't changed your way of thinking. Don't agree with a guy on something and the next minute you will hear yourself being given the title of Miss Attitude.

Whether its an Asian or an American, the cast, creed and colour does not matter when it comes to being dominant. Every guys macho man ego comes out the second you try to argue your point of view into the conversation. It turns from a simple argument to a huge fight where the guy is supposedly always right in his opinion.

Guys always expect girls to agree with them all the time. And just nod their heads when asked for something. Unfortunately for them, sometimes 1 out of a hundred a girl is born like me. Who does not care if her opinion hurts the macho man ego. It helps a lot to bring their ego from the seventh sky, back to earth where it belongs.

We can't change any ones thinking but we can change the way we deal with it. My dad always says that punching people isn't always a perfect solution. Meaning that arguing your point isn't always best. Sometimes you have to analyse the situation and then proceed. Using your sweet girl charm always helps. Although that is so not my thing but whatever gets the work done.

Sometimes people leave surprised or more like shocked by their mentality. We, girls should know that we have the power. We just don't know how to use it. So it is time to believe in yourself and use your power. What I have learnt is that Allah gave us two ears. One to listen things from and the other to through out all the crap. So don't take anything to your heart and recycle your brain by throwing out all the garbage.

...SAP...

Extract From A Book.

This is how we go on: one day at a time, one meal at a time, one pain at a time, one breath at a time. Dentists go on one root-canal at a time; bota-builders go on one hull at a time. If you write books, you go on one page at a time. We turn from all we know and all we fear. We study catalouges, watch football games, choose Sprint over AT&T. We count the birds in the sky and will not turn from the window when we hear the footsteps behind us as something comes up the hall; we say yes, I agree that clouds often look like other things - fish and unicorns and men on horseback - but they are really only clouds. Even when the lightening flashes inside them we say they are only clouds and turn our attention to the next meal, the next pain, the next breath, the next page. This is how we go on. -Bag Of Bones, Stephen King.

P.S. Although I found Stephen king very boring for my taste. Horror is not my thing. And somehow horror doesn't even makes sense. But I loved this paragraph. 

...SAP...

I am a PAKISTANI !

"I Am A Pakistani" is an inspirational speech written by Maaz Khan. The video was shot in Karachi, Pakistan. It's an observation based on all the elements, sentiments & opinions that exist in a Pakistani's mind, including both, positive & negative elements. The video explains the weaknesses & the strengths of a nation in turmoil, still trying to make it big.

I am a Pakistani. It is my nation. My identity. I will not let anyone have it. Because it is MINE.

...SAP...

Life's Too Short - Johnny Depp

This is hilarious. The way Jhonny depp first makes the dwarf guy dance on his tunes and then he gets even with Ricky Gervais for the joke he played on Jhonny during Golden Globes. Watch out for the Angelina joke.

P.S. Jhonny Depp never ever watches his own movies. He hasn't watched a sinlge one. And that is what Ricky Gervais made fun of.

...SAP...

Book Review: Guilty Wives - James Patterson.

The first thing that I loved about this book was that it was from a prisoner's point of view. Most of the books that are usually written on crime are from the good guy's point of view. The story starts with four friends, Abbie Elliot, Serena Schofield, Winnie and Bryah going away for a vacation in Monte Carlo, France. All these women or their husbands are involved in extra marital affairs. The wives just want to get away from all the drama in their life. What they didn't know is that there is a lot more drama to come.

The four wives are charged with the murder of President Of France and his bodyguard. Abbie Elliot finds herself in jail along with her friends for a lifetime for speaking the truth. They all are tortured. Abbie is the weak link in the chain because her strong headedness is what stands in between the people who framed them. She is the only one capable of proving her innocence along with her friends. She proves it but the people she never thought are the murderers who framed them.

There are a lot of twists and turns and I loved every single one of them. The characters are defined in a very profound manner. The story itself is something that will challenge your mind. In the start even I for a second didn't think who the murderers are until the book spoke itself.

In short James Patterson has definitely reached my list of favourite writers. His crime fiction is not only different but at the same time very thrilling. One writer every crime fiction favourite should read. This book was no less. Not only his concepts are very different from every book that he writes but the characters too. One writer to watch out for.

P.S. I hate the cover of this book. It doesn't matches the standard of the story inside.

...SAP...

Some Crazy Times.

I asked my Nano to oil my hair. This is me and Nano time. It is the time when I have a chance to bond with her. I love her. She is one strong women. She has been through so much in life. If I would have been in her place I would have given up a long time ago. Okay. I diverge from a topic in seconds. Anyway, she was oiling my hair and talking to me about her old and golden days. We were gossipping around talking bad about everyone. I know it sounds bad because it was bad. I think that this is the beauty of having grandparents. That you actually get to learn from. You get all the love and care from them. From all the relatives to our old neighbours in KSA, we talked about everyone. When people say that they know things from experience and they have lived more in life than us. Trust me your elders are not lying. They really know more than us.

So I was eating an ice lolly while we gossipped. I noticed some writing on the bottom of the stick and I got really excited. Because every time I buy an ice cream from the store, there is a gift sign on it that says win a trip to Disney Land if your stick has something written on it. And every time my stick turns out to be empty. So I remove my thumb very excitedly from the stick thinking about what gift is it. And guess what is written on it. LIKE US ON FACEBOOK. I am like can I kill myself ? Tomorrow even the guy who picks up every body's trash will say like me on facebook. This facebook mania is annoying at times.

 

Not the only surprise of the evening. My younger brother saw the last Batman movie without me. And I knew he will not rest until he ruins the surprise for me by telling me all the twists. He goes like Batman dies. I am like WTH ? I curse him as bad as I could. Then my elder brother tells me after an hour, Sumaica, how can Batman die? It does not happen. And I am like, Muaaz, you are a DOG. Ugh. I can't believe I fell for that. I fall for it every time. Either he is very good or I am very bad.

...SAP...

Quote Of The Day !

SMILE ! Because it is a brand new day. You may change somebody's life.

My Pen Is Silent !

 

My pen is silent. I am silent. I don't know what to write. Maybe it is because I still can not process the fact that one second you know someone and the next you hear that they are gone. You blink your eye and the people you fought with or teased are no more there. Death is what takes them away from you forever. And you are just left with their pictures and things to look back and remember those moments. They go but they leave behind a void no one can ever fill. Everyone forgets them after awhile, remembering them on friends get together or  a reunion but their family never does. Every step of the way, a mom always hope that her son will return. A sister thinks that her brother will get her the doll. The father imagines his son taking his place and being his right hand. But that never happens. Because the person who was suppose to do that is gone. The candles have been blown out.

Two days ago four guys passed away in a car accident on the spot in Jeddah. I knew all four of them and two of them were our family friends. Shehab Chaudhry and Shahbeez Shaukat. I used to call Shehab Motto (Fat) and say that he is like that because his dad owns a sweet shop and he is always there eating sweets. Shahbeez, his mom never even let him out of his sight. He was an only and adopted kid. He used to call her before stepping out of his house to let her know. He only had permission to come to our house.  He was very bad in studies. I absolutely hated Shahbeez dressing, always saying that you dress like you just came from a village. They redecorated their house. And his room was painted yellow and bright pink. I stood there making fun of him and calling him a girl.  I used to tease them so much. They were both older than me, yet I acted as if they are younger than me. Its been 6 years since I even saw them. When I was moving Shehab said, chalo one crazy girl is going to be less in this country. Now it is one crazy boy less in that country. So many memories and yet they will remain so.

I know that all I can do is pray for them. I am silent.  Four families were destroyed in one second. Four house holds will always be silent wishing, hoping and praying for these guys to come back. Their mothers will look their way. They will never be the same again. My words are nothing in front of their pain. And only they know the loss that they have suffered. Death leaves a heartache no one can cure. I pray for them that may Allah give their families the patience to endure such pain.

http://www.arabnews.com/4-pakistani-youth-killed-horrible-taif-accident

...SAP...

Expectations !

When my mom got married, the first thing that my dad ever said to her was, "EXPECTATIONS KILLS RELATIONS".

It is true. It is not very romantic but it is a very good advice. We live our life expecting different things from people when deep down in our hearts we know that we will not get it. And when you expect something you ruin not only your life but the person that you expect from, his too. You know how we all expect rain when it is monsoon season and there are clouds in the sky. Sometimes it rains but sometimes it does not. And end result is that we all are disappointed. Expectations are like that. Sometimes they are fulfilled but sometimes they do not.

In life we expect more than we deserve or more than the other person can deliver. Every parents expects his or her child to top in every class, couples expect each other to be perfect, friends expect friends to give up everything for them. And the expectations go on and on. What we fail to realise is that what we have  is perfect enough. Your average kid should be the topper in your eyes, your partner wearing the wrong shirt is the hero for you, your friend who gives up a class is yours.

In this cycle of expectations, you just go round and round and round. And the cycle never ends. We all just keep on taking that ride instead of getting off it. It is time that we all stop enjoying that ride. So stop living for expectations towards yourself or living your life within expectations for others. You will see life differently.

...SAP...

Quote Of The Day.

Start by doing what is necessary, than what is possible and suddenly you are doing the impossible. -St Francis Of Assisi

Forgive And Forget. Part 2. To Hell With It.

TO HELL WITH IT ALL. Seriously, you will feel the pain and at times you will choke over things. You will stop and blink and wonder what could have been? You will feel like crying at all times. You will feel like your life has been destroyed. At first you will not believe it. Then you will cry like a baby. Then at times you will curse them. You will plan revenge. You will feel the anger. You will blame yourself for their actions. You will take out your anger on others.

 But it will get better. Your wound will stop bleeding. And then it will heal. The pain and hurt will eventually go away. There will be a time when you will be yourself again. You will say, yaar it is a long story. Someday you will tell your kids about it. You will tell a stranger about it and it will stop mattering to you.

The best part is that as time goes by, karma will take care of it all. Remember Allah is always there. He will take care of things for you. You will watch as they get a piece of their own medicine. You will not enjoy it. You will want it to stop but it will all make you feel better. You will look back and realize that what you did was right. If you had not forgiven them, then today there would be no difference between the two of you. You will learn from the experience and hope that you never do anything like that to someone. 

It is in your hands to move on. It depends on you to forgive them. Move on. Let it go. Hold on to the good times. Life is beautiful. It still will be without all them. Just believe in it and let go.

P.S. You go through all this drama and at the end you are like, What The Hell? I wasted so much of my precious time.

...SAP...

Forgive And Forget. Part 1. What To Do?

You get hurt. You hurt so badly that you do not know what to do. It is like you lose your consiousness.People forget all the years that you have spent together. All the times you offered your shoulder for the tears and made jokes to make them laugh. All the times you were there for them and all the times you stood by their sides. The surprize birthday party you threw for a friend, the pendent you had custom made for her, the money you loned them and never asked back. The moment you left your meeting to make sure you do not miss her first steps, ditch school so you could go retail therapy shopping, cancel plans to stay at home with a box of chocolates and tissues and your shoulder for her to cry on. Everything is forgotten.

You think about getting back at them. At doing what they did to you. But thing is that sometimes you simply do not have the courage to do it. You do not have the strength to see them go through what you did. To be responsible for it. So you do the best you were born to. And that is forgive. You forgive graciously and pretend that everything is fine. But you know its not. Its not fine and it never will be. Your wound will always be raw. It will always hurt to remember all the memories. And at times you will never want to travel down the memory lane.

You want to get past all this. So you forget. Or atleast try. You stop thinking about all those things that make you remember about them. You become oblivious. And for a period of time, you actually forget. But all that is still there deep down. Every step of the way you ask yourself, what to do? You do no want to be reminded of the pain and hurt that you went through. You do not want your wounds to bleed again. Enough blood has been shed. You ask yourself, how? How? Will it ever go away? Will it ever be okay? Will you ever be the same again?

...SAP...

It Is Just A Word.

Sometimes saying sorry does not mean you are wrong. It means you value your relationship more than your ego. -Unknown

SORRY. One word. Five letters. Yet this one word is so hard to say for some people. This one word has ruined lives, broken marriages,  forgotten friendships and just lost the value of relationships. Husbands do not say sorry because of their macho man ego. Wives do not do it stubbornly waiting for the husbands to do so. Friends forget their years of friendship, the memories that they have shared together. Families do not talk to each other. Friends become strangers. You walk past them without noticing their presence. Just because of a single word. In this ego match, other people are also affected.

Think of it like this. Sorry is like this peace contract. Just sign it and everything will fall into place. It is like this bitter chocolate that you have to eat it and you will feel the warmth. It is like a heart breaking video, just watch it and there is a happy ending. It is like medicine for your bruises and for the others too. You will feel the sting for a while but the after effect and relief will be all worth it.

 You do not need to bake huge cakes, cook elaborate dinners, buy chocolates and huge bouquets or empty your credit card. Just say an apology straight from the heart and mean it. Do it before it is too late. You may be able to renew your ego but you will not be able to renew friendships, marriages, relationships etc.

Truth is saying sorry does not mean you are wrong. Sometimes it means that you love and care about the other person. That you do not want to loose them. What is ego infront of years of friendship, decades of trust of marriages, generations of family bonding? Ask yourself, is it worth it? Having a bruised ego is better than having a ruined life.

...SAP...

Quote Of The Day.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you are ahead, sometimes you are behind. The race is long, and in the end, its only with yourself. -Baz Luhrmann