Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I Live Away From Home

Last year my very best one and only sister wrote an article titled, "Living Away From Home" and she mentioned all the things that she misses while living abroad. When I read it, I thought to myself that why is she being so sentimental and emotional ? So what ? It is not a big deal. I love Qatar. I don't have a problem living away from Pakistan. Yes. There are great things about Pakistan but I just don't see the diamond studded picture that can make me miss Pakistan. Its just one of the other countries on the map for me. I didn't give it a second thought and life went on.

But last Friday, I realised that Yes! I do live away from home. And yes ! Pakistan is home. You see it was my cousins Nikah ceremony. Now, we are a very small family and this is the first guy whose Nikah it was and we all pretty close. Because it all happened so suddenly within a week, we couldn't go and attend it. On the day of Nikah, my father called and my cousin (his elder and only sister) picked up and she told my dad that they were all getting ready and would leave for the ceremony in an hour. And I wanted to wear heels, spend hours at getting ready, wear those beautiful clothes and just be there. We called again after the Nikah to talk to everyone and congratulate them.  And I just had this emptiness in me. I had this longing to be there. I wanted to be there to enjoy the moment with my family. It was the first time in my life that I wanted to be in Pakistan rather any where else.

That day I realised that despite what I say and what I believe, deep down for me, my home has been and always will be Pakistan. It is like you realise the importance of something when you don't have it anymore and you think that you can get it back whenever you want but that's not how it works. You have to stick to what you have. I really did see the diamond studded picture which made me want to just fly out there and be with them. I really despised our lack of flying abilities on this auspicious day.

When you see a part of your family going through an important phase of their life and you so wish to be there for them but its the thousands of miles that stand between you and your home. You realise that the things you took for granted and never gave a second thought are the ones that are essential in your life and at the end of the day you are nothing without those things. I really am nothing without my family, without my identity, without my home. When you live abroad, you have the satisfaction that there are people back at home who will always be there to welcome you with open arms and no matter what life throws at you they will back you up. So, with immense pride I admit that I live away from home.