Forgive And Forget. Part 1. What To Do?

You get hurt. You hurt so badly that you do not know what to do. It is like you lose your consiousness.People forget all the years that you have spent together. All the times you offered your shoulder for the tears and made jokes to make them laugh. All the times you were there for them and all the times you stood by their sides. The surprize birthday party you threw for a friend, the pendent you had custom made for her, the money you loned them and never asked back. The moment you left your meeting to make sure you do not miss her first steps, ditch school so you could go retail therapy shopping, cancel plans to stay at home with a box of chocolates and tissues and your shoulder for her to cry on. Everything is forgotten.

You think about getting back at them. At doing what they did to you. But thing is that sometimes you simply do not have the courage to do it. You do not have the strength to see them go through what you did. To be responsible for it. So you do the best you were born to. And that is forgive. You forgive graciously and pretend that everything is fine. But you know its not. Its not fine and it never will be. Your wound will always be raw. It will always hurt to remember all the memories. And at times you will never want to travel down the memory lane.

You want to get past all this. So you forget. Or atleast try. You stop thinking about all those things that make you remember about them. You become oblivious. And for a period of time, you actually forget. But all that is still there deep down. Every step of the way you ask yourself, what to do? You do no want to be reminded of the pain and hurt that you went through. You do not want your wounds to bleed again. Enough blood has been shed. You ask yourself, how? How? Will it ever go away? Will it ever be okay? Will you ever be the same again?

...SAP...