It was 5th grade and I was merely 10 years old. But my anger had always been very impulsive and I had a tendency to take it out on people. I never meant to but that is how it was. Somehow I used to lose my thinking capability. My brain used to shut down and hormones came over it. I said things I never meant. Sometimes that still happens. But now it is very rare. I remember once I was shouting at someone over something and my gym teacher saw that. He said to me that, Sumaica, take your anger physically out on non living things rather than actual people. So that whole year whenever something used to piss me off, I use to go to the gym and work out. Whatever work out a 10 year old can do. But my point is that it took 15 minutes of physical labour for my anger to pass like a bad storm. And that helped me a lot to keep my anger in control over the years.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, anger is a strong feeling of extreme displeasure. I define it more like as wanting to punch someone so hard that their teeth fall out and they have a toothless ugly smile.
Sometimes I think that kids are better than us in this respective. They take out their anger by punching someone or throwing a tantrum in the middle of a mall. It lasts only 15 minutes and then they let go of it and forget whatever happened. On the other hand being an adult makes you do what people call it "think rationally". So instead you just keep on spinning things over and over again like a cotton candy is spun. And if you take a cotton candy, compress it, there is nothing in it. And that is how things are when we are angry.
Everyone of us needs a solution to control our anger. Or to at least let go of it. It is like figuring out all the kinks of a damaged car, so that only you know how to drive it. I found mine after a long time. So today whenever I am angry, my diary or any paper finds me and words tumble out of my pen like men breaking away from a prison. But once those words have left my hand, then I never think about those things again. We all have that solution. Whether it is working out in a gym, writing, going on a drive or shouting at your loved ones.
Like Maya Angelou said,
"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."
So at the end of the day, I learnt that being angry helps no one. It effects only you and the damage done has to be repaired by you. So like a car, you have to figure out all the kinks and find a solution to let go of it. That is what helps everyone keep their sanity.
...SAP...
