Letters To The Moon # 7

Dear Moon,

Apparently, not knowing whether your husband is wearing the new shoes or not is also a crime in the married world.

I need some answers from these so called Desi mothers of ours. Why the hell do you bring up your kids so dependent on you ? They are independent enough to study in international universities, go to work at world renown companies but are not able to match their ties with shirts. How ? And why ? How is it a wife's responsibility to pick up his clothes off the floor ? Or call him every two hours to ask if he had breakfast, lunch etc ? Is he not sane enough to go and eat by himself ? or is he incapable of doing that ?

Please let your kids grow up. Let them do things on their own. Stop doing things for them. You are just creating problems. Nothing else.

You are just creating a grown up child who still wants his mommy at every step of the way. If you want to do that, do it by all means. Do not marry them then. Girls are not lying around waiting to care whether your son has new shoes on or not. Nor are they in a line to get ready every day for your son.

We have lives of our own. Lives we would like to live. We have personalities, habits, hobbies. Our lives are not because of your sons. We are made to parade around them like some sort of peacocks. We have to make sure that we love what they love. And eat what they eat. If they like chocolate and heaven forbids, we don't, that should be declared a crime, punishable by 5 years in jail.

In life, there comes a time, when you have to let go of your kids. If you try to hold onto them, tying the strings tighter, knot after knot, eventually they will break off these ties and go their way. You will be left behind wondering what you did wrong. On the other hand, letting them live their lives will mean that they include you in it as well. They give you the place and love you want and deserve.

Let that love be from the heart. Let it be pure.

Don't try to force something that can never be forced upon.

Yours always,

S

P.S. One day, I will actually say it to people's faces, till then let us just be content with this.

Letters To The Moon # 6

Dear Moon,

Its hard when you are caught in between things. You are in the middle of one of those suspended rope bridges on top of a river, seen on TV which everyone wants to cross, but it turns out that you are stuck. You cannot go forward because what awaits you is more horrifying than the rope under your feet. And you certainly cannot go back. So you stand their, holding onto the side of the bridge with all the strength that you can muster, hoping and praying that the bridge stays secure. And some miracle occurs.

I am caught in between life. I do one thing and the other suffers. And this between, its not a happy place. It is more of a temporary one.

Today, I realised something. That I do not need to be afraid. My biggest strength is standing right in front of me and I was oblivious to it all this time. I do not have to carry all that baggage with me. I do not have to be the bad person by talking back or talking about anything that I want.

All I have to do is be strong. Work hard and hold my ground on the things I love and the things I want to do.

Things are very simple. Its me who makes them complicated thinking about the consequences.

Here is the reality. I am not answerable to anyone. I am an adult. Okay, if you want to take it this way then the only person I need to consult in my decisions is my husband. And lets be honest, he is rarely going to have a problem with what I do with my life. If he is with me, the rest can go to an abandoned parking lot. I do not give a shit.

I am out of my parents jurisdiction. I am my own person now. So I should stop taking crap from all the other people in my life. And start paying attention. Thing is that no one will have a right to say anything if he is with me. So why the hell have I started caring so bloody much about it all ?

Why have I become such a tension freak ? Not every tiny detail is my fault. And I should stop taking it as that.

Yours always,

S

P.S. This is the moment where Abdullah realizes that he is screwed. But I am glad that I married the right person.

Letters To The Moon # 2

May 18, 2014

Dear Moon,

I was coming back after having an amazing weekend and all along the car ride, my eyes were searching for you. But in vain, I counted six stars but not a single moon. 

I am turning 19 and getting married in exactly three days.

That is huge. And I know it. 

I am nervous. But not over the top nervous. 

The one thing that scares me are the expectations people have of me and with me. And the assumptions everyone seems to make.

I do not care about what people think of me. But people I love, care about what others think. And my love for these people makes me care about people's expectations. Its like they have already decided that I am going to fall off the ladder. And instead of holding the ladder, everyone is just watching and waiting for me to fall.

But I will not fall. I am not that weak. And you know it. I mean, you are a rock yourself. 

I do not know what is going to happen. My life is going to change, that is a given. But one thing I am going to do is make sure that my foremost success is happiness. 

My happiness and the people I love and care about, their happiness.

The rest will follow. 

In time, I plan to accomplish everything I have dreamt of and planned for. 

But you know what, I am still a little scared. 

What do you think ? Do you think I will be able to do it all ? Do you think that life will give me a chance ? Or I will have to snatch it from life itself. Do you think that my optimism will be my doom ? Do you think that I will fall of the ladder ? 

I leave you with that question.

Adieu !

S

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Letters To The Moon # 1

Photo by Saleha Jamil.

Dear Moon,

You and I have a very strange relationship. You are the only thing that has entranced me every time I look upon it.

Yesterday, I was hanging clothes outside, on the wash line and I saw you. You were gleaming like morning dew on a freshly blossomed Rose.

The stars aligned themselves in a way so that when you come out, you are the only one shining. And they are just Mustard in a Hot Dog, helping you look your best.

I don't think you need that.

You are perfect the way you are. Because you like me have a story. Those marks, craters, dents and blemishes you bear are the signs of your tale.

I look at you and wonder how you can be so beautiful despite bearing so many marks. Its like you have been hand painted to look wounded yet pretty as a new bride.

You are like a victory mark for people like us. Ordinary people.

We have reached you.

Put a foot on you.

And now we have achieved something. Something that defines us to our generations. Our greatness. Our accomplishments.

What do you think ? Do you agree ? Do you want to be a part of that victory ? Or do you want to be left alone ? Do you ever wonder why someone did not ask you ? Why someone did not care about you ?

Do you ever feel like you have to fulfill expectations ? What if someone does not think that you are as worthy as you yourself think ? Or someone thinks that you are useless ?

I think that you are just a pawn in our game. The game that we win. And the people around us clap. They cheer on us. They look at you with contempt. Because everyone wants to see who lost to us.

So in a way, you are not that different from me.

Yours sincerely,

SAP

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