Letters To The Moon # 7

Dear Moon,

Apparently, not knowing whether your husband is wearing the new shoes or not is also a crime in the married world.

I need some answers from these so called Desi mothers of ours. Why the hell do you bring up your kids so dependent on you ? They are independent enough to study in international universities, go to work at world renown companies but are not able to match their ties with shirts. How ? And why ? How is it a wife's responsibility to pick up his clothes off the floor ? Or call him every two hours to ask if he had breakfast, lunch etc ? Is he not sane enough to go and eat by himself ? or is he incapable of doing that ?

Please let your kids grow up. Let them do things on their own. Stop doing things for them. You are just creating problems. Nothing else.

You are just creating a grown up child who still wants his mommy at every step of the way. If you want to do that, do it by all means. Do not marry them then. Girls are not lying around waiting to care whether your son has new shoes on or not. Nor are they in a line to get ready every day for your son.

We have lives of our own. Lives we would like to live. We have personalities, habits, hobbies. Our lives are not because of your sons. We are made to parade around them like some sort of peacocks. We have to make sure that we love what they love. And eat what they eat. If they like chocolate and heaven forbids, we don't, that should be declared a crime, punishable by 5 years in jail.

In life, there comes a time, when you have to let go of your kids. If you try to hold onto them, tying the strings tighter, knot after knot, eventually they will break off these ties and go their way. You will be left behind wondering what you did wrong. On the other hand, letting them live their lives will mean that they include you in it as well. They give you the place and love you want and deserve.

Let that love be from the heart. Let it be pure.

Don't try to force something that can never be forced upon.

Yours always,

S

P.S. One day, I will actually say it to people's faces, till then let us just be content with this.

Letters To The Husband # 2

Dear Abdullah,

The reason I started these letters was because I like to say thing, explain my thoughts, put them in words or write them down, I like expressing my views. But here is the problem, you don't like listening to me saying the same thing in ten ways for 15 minutes. I like saying everything that is on my mind, even if my theory has ten aspects and you understand it in the first two minutes. My mind needs to hear them out loud, for me to think it over and save it. So I thought, I will just write to you because you do read my blog.

You are a very content man and I love that quality about you. But being content stops you from aspiring for better things in life. It stops you from thinking ahead and you end up exactly where you were ten years ago. Living in the present is amazing but at the same time, we need to at least think about where we want our life to lead. We don't have any control over what happens but we owe it to ourselves to at least try.

Something that my friend's dad once said (which has stayed with me all this time), that I want the quality of my life to be good. When I work hard and get paid more, I am not going to put it all into savings for my retirement, first and foremost I will increase the quality of my life.

Don't get me wrong. I don't envy people who have the luxury to shop in Louise Vuitton or Gucci all day. Or take endless vacations to exotic places. Neither am I ungrateful for everything I have. Because I know that I live better than 90 % of the population in this world. And I probably don't deserve all that.

But I do like to aspire and work for better things in life. Whether that is the opportunity to travel more. Or buying more books. I like the idea of standing in my own apartment, a car parked underneath, studying further, a job that I love and all that being the result of our hard work. I say our, and I mean our. I do not mean YOURS or MINE. I know that a lot of the time, the things I say are either yours or mine. But this is OURS. I want us to have two separate lives intertwined with each others. The freedom to do what we want, at the same time be willing to compromise on certain things. But all that being OUR decision., not yours or mine or anyone else's.

I strayed from my point again. SORRY !

Khair, my point is that while we are very lucky and fortunate to live the way we do. But it's not all I want. It's not all what you should want.

Lately, I have seen you talking about what you want to do in the future. And here is what I think. I think you should do it. You know what we were talking about the other day and I kept interrupting you, telling my ideas. Let's do it. Right now. Right here. At this point in our lives.

If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that there is no time like the present to try.

Let's do something that you love and I have no interest in. But I am willing to try.

Yours,

SAP 

Letter To The Husband # 1

Dear Abdullah,

First of all I sincerely apologise for what I am about to do. But I am going to do it anyway, that is write about you. Because I want to and this is a free world.

I love writing letters and doing sentimental things like that. But you do not even try to like that. I thought why not write a virtual one since you do read my blog.

I have realised that I do not appreciate you as much as I should. That is because I know that I am stuck with you for life, whether I like it or not. Like the fact that I hate your habit of throwing your clothes on the floor or never paying at a restaurant. Your wallet only materializes when we are at KFC, McDonalds, Shawarma place, Burger King, Baqala etc. Dude, be a man and learn to pay up.

The past year has been really weird for me because as much as the world and our society tried to change me, you did not try at all. And the ironic part is that I expected the total opposite. And while everyone else was busy telling me how to wear clothes or make a certain dish or go to someone's house, you were there telling me it was okay to be whoever I wanted. Or not do anything at all. I felt okay, like even if I stopped studying or did not cover myself in a layer of make up, I would still be okay.

I have learnt a lot about people, how they are, what they say and what they really mean. But in all that, I have seen you as well. And every time I look at you, my optimism soars, like a bird flying higher and higher. Because you are the most content man I know. You are happy and perfectly okay the way you are right at this second whereas the rest of us, want this, achieve that or travel there.

I remember telling you, more like babbling about what I wanted to do in life, the places I wanted to explore, people I wanted to meet, food to eat etc. And I asked you, what do you want ? And you said, "Me ??? Well, I have everything I ever wanted. Actually, more. I don't want anything else. I already have more than I deserve."

Let me just tell you that my eyes almost popped out. And I did not believe a letter of what you said that day. But as I started to live with you, I realised that you were not lying.

I am not saying that you are perfect because lets be honest, you are not. And there are a million things I don't like about you but this letter is not about that.

Its about appreciating you. acknowledging the fact that I do know about the good things in life.

I know that at times you have uncertainties about us. But let me tell you a secret, I think that as long you are you and I am me, we will be just fine.

Right now there are about fifteen trophies in our room and not a single one of them has been earned by either of us. And they are taunting me.

Can I drink coke in one of them ? Ooh, that would be so cool. I am doing that tomorrow.

I just wanted to let you know that I know what a good person you are. And I am glad that you are in my life. Because believe me when I say this, I would not be sitting right here if it was not for you.

Yours always,

S

P.S. I still hate you for bailing out on me, for getting Frozen Coke.
P.P.S. This was the good part. Eventually the bad ones will be out as well.
P.P.P.S. The only reason I am writing this is because at least you will READ what I WRITE this way.

Letters To The Moon # 3 : I MADE IT

Dear Moon,

Successfully done with the wedding. I would call it a success based on the number of people I have pissed off and made enemies.

Its weird that all these years, I felt like wedding was this huge obstacle in the way of my plans. And it was something that was suppose to be done. Like you give SATs. Or you follow the Traffic Rules.

But that stereotype of mine has fallen from the top most shelf and is in a million pieces, being swept away by a broom.

I don't feel like anything has changed.

Other than being in a completely different house, with different people and waking up a little early than usual.

Last year, right about this time, I had a very different idea of where I wanted to be.

But I am satisfied of where I am right now. Its a good place. With excellent food. And lots of books.

The only accomplishment of mine this past year has been making through all this. I feel like getting a tattoo of "I MADE IT" on my forehead.

And the best part about is that I still feel like myself. I feel like the Sumaica who strives for extra-ordinary things, loves Pizza and sees the world a little differently.

So life is not that bad. Come to think of it, its not bad at all.

Except a lot of people bitching about different things. But than that always happens.

What about you ? I think, in my ramblings, I completely forgot that you exist. I haven't seen you around much. Mainly, because now my view from the bathroom has changed.

But no worries, I will find a way to see you again.

Adieu !

S

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Letters To The Moon # 1

Photo by Saleha Jamil.

Dear Moon,

You and I have a very strange relationship. You are the only thing that has entranced me every time I look upon it.

Yesterday, I was hanging clothes outside, on the wash line and I saw you. You were gleaming like morning dew on a freshly blossomed Rose.

The stars aligned themselves in a way so that when you come out, you are the only one shining. And they are just Mustard in a Hot Dog, helping you look your best.

I don't think you need that.

You are perfect the way you are. Because you like me have a story. Those marks, craters, dents and blemishes you bear are the signs of your tale.

I look at you and wonder how you can be so beautiful despite bearing so many marks. Its like you have been hand painted to look wounded yet pretty as a new bride.

You are like a victory mark for people like us. Ordinary people.

We have reached you.

Put a foot on you.

And now we have achieved something. Something that defines us to our generations. Our greatness. Our accomplishments.

What do you think ? Do you agree ? Do you want to be a part of that victory ? Or do you want to be left alone ? Do you ever wonder why someone did not ask you ? Why someone did not care about you ?

Do you ever feel like you have to fulfill expectations ? What if someone does not think that you are as worthy as you yourself think ? Or someone thinks that you are useless ?

I think that you are just a pawn in our game. The game that we win. And the people around us clap. They cheer on us. They look at you with contempt. Because everyone wants to see who lost to us.

So in a way, you are not that different from me.

Yours sincerely,

SAP

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