Letters To The Moon # 7

Dear Moon,

Apparently, not knowing whether your husband is wearing the new shoes or not is also a crime in the married world.

I need some answers from these so called Desi mothers of ours. Why the hell do you bring up your kids so dependent on you ? They are independent enough to study in international universities, go to work at world renown companies but are not able to match their ties with shirts. How ? And why ? How is it a wife's responsibility to pick up his clothes off the floor ? Or call him every two hours to ask if he had breakfast, lunch etc ? Is he not sane enough to go and eat by himself ? or is he incapable of doing that ?

Please let your kids grow up. Let them do things on their own. Stop doing things for them. You are just creating problems. Nothing else.

You are just creating a grown up child who still wants his mommy at every step of the way. If you want to do that, do it by all means. Do not marry them then. Girls are not lying around waiting to care whether your son has new shoes on or not. Nor are they in a line to get ready every day for your son.

We have lives of our own. Lives we would like to live. We have personalities, habits, hobbies. Our lives are not because of your sons. We are made to parade around them like some sort of peacocks. We have to make sure that we love what they love. And eat what they eat. If they like chocolate and heaven forbids, we don't, that should be declared a crime, punishable by 5 years in jail.

In life, there comes a time, when you have to let go of your kids. If you try to hold onto them, tying the strings tighter, knot after knot, eventually they will break off these ties and go their way. You will be left behind wondering what you did wrong. On the other hand, letting them live their lives will mean that they include you in it as well. They give you the place and love you want and deserve.

Let that love be from the heart. Let it be pure.

Don't try to force something that can never be forced upon.

Yours always,

S

P.S. One day, I will actually say it to people's faces, till then let us just be content with this.

Letters To The Husband # 2

Abdullah, (You do not deserve to be called dear today)

OMG ! You said something so insensitive that for two whole seconds I kept looking at you with zero facial expressions. Here is the reason, because I did not know how to react.

You ask what you did ? Good question. Here is a recap. Remember, when you asked me very politely why I cannot eat a small scoop of ice cream ? Why was it that my ice cream quantity had to be at least big enough for four people ?

I mean, how can you even ask that ? Who asks that ? Its ice cream. Its the number one rule of eating ice cream. You do not just get a single short teeny tiny scoop. That is like staring at it with puppy dog eyes. I have NEVER eaten a small scoop. I did not even know that they existed until I married you. You, my friend are a shame to the world of ice cream.

I do not remember even Moawiz ordering a small scoop for himself, even when he was four. That kids has better taste than you.

Here is the funny part. So today, after your stupid question, I ordered two small scoops, one Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and the other Mint Chocolate Chip. I was done before we even arrived home and it takes us like five minutes to get home. Ice cream should not disappear in five minutes. I seriously thought that someone had robbed me when I was eating it. Because it was like I had not even started that it finished.

This was a huge mistake on my point. Needless to say, that is not happening again.

Remember how we talked about my daily need of ice cream and you ooh so high and mightily pointed out that paying 18 riyals daily for ice cream was a little too much. I resorted to eating McDonalds ice cream. (Thank you McDonalds for keeping people like me alive and sane )

You need to remember this generosity of mine. Let's be honest dude. If a time ever came that I have to choose between you and ice cream, you know what my choice will be.

My point is, the next time you make such an outrageous comment on my perfectly healthy and awesome lifestyle choices, please decide whether you want to live with me peacefully or just live with me. The choice is yours. ;)

Ice cream's truly,

S

.......

A Miss Of Expat Life

Dij : "F just got engaged. "

Me: " Whatttt ??? That's huge and awesome. What did she wear ? What did you wear ? Where did it happen ? I need all the details ASAP. "

I am typing this while reaching for the laptop and logging on to Facebook, still in my Abaya, just to see if she has uploaded any pictures, to see what she wore to the big day, how her fiance looked, what the ring was like, what my friend wore, every tiny detail of the function. I checked my Instagram after that to see more of her pictures and comment my happiness on them.

When you have friends in different countries, at first its very exciting. But it becomes boring and lonely pretty soon. Here is the hard part, you miss your friends graduation, their birthday, then their engagements and weddings. The first time it happens, it hurts a lot. Because at the end of the day, there is not much you can do.

I remember, back in the day, when we moved from KSA, I never felt this because I was visiting Jeddah every two months due to several reasons. We did that for almost two years. And I was much younger at the time. So getting a phone call from a friend, in another country, on your birthday was a huge deal for me. We all made an effort to wish each other, post presents and still be the same way. But it did not work like that. Phone calls were missed, numbers miss placed or changed, presents lost in the mail and distance just created these invisible barriers between us.

When you are younger, you do not make that much of an effort to keep in touch with someone who is not in a hundred km radius. Its just the way it is.

But as you grow older, you meet other people, the ones you leave behind start coming back to you and you start keeping tabs on them. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Skype, Viber etc have made this much easier than it was in the days of MSN emails, texts and actual phone calls.

I remember looking at my best friend's (at the time) pictures from a birthday party, every single person I knew, people I even hated were there, except me. Hands in hands, or on shoulders, drinks in huge glasses, some of my friends trying to sit down, some bending to get in focus, smiling at the camera, that picture came out perfect. But I was not in it. That picture was still complete. Like I never existed. I hated being an expat at that moment.

I am extremely lucky that people message me to tell the important happenings in their life or their sibling's life, or friends who get worried if I don't reply, who don't say anything if I forget their birthday or graduation. because they know that as long distance friends, we are past all that.

Its a hit and miss. Sometimes your wishes will reach them on time. Sometime they won't. But the thing is, your wishes mean that much more to the other person. Because they know how busy you are in your life. Taking time out of it to simply message them, congratulating on their special occasions becomes a big deal.

...SAP...