2014 ! The Year of Survival

2014 !

Where should I start from ? I think I should address the elephant in the room. I got married. YIKES ! That still sounds shocking to me. Every time someone mentions me being married, I turn around and try to take it in. I have not succeeded in that. Yet.

A friend of mine told me to enjoy every part of my wedding process. And I did.

Damn, man ! I freaking loved every single bit of it. It was awesome.

2014 started with us changing houses. I finally got my own room but got to reside in it only for two months.

Because our next venture was the trip to Pakistan. My dad tried to convince us to order everything online and get it done with it. But I wanted to go there and do everything myself. So I went. It was two awesome months including a lot of trips, adventures, things that deserve their own writing.

2014 taught me that things do not go the way we want them to. That doesn't mean that we don't get what we want. Its just that the path leading us to them can be slightly different, sometimes longer, sometimes twisted, sometimes even straight. So do not freak out if something out of the ordinary happens to you. Just be patient and trust in Allah.

People are mean. And this is coming from the person who has been the victim of our society many times. But when you get married, this meanness is up to a whole other level.

It has taken me a lot of time to get my head wrapped around everything that has been going on and trying my best to not take everything personally.

It was the year of personal growth. I have become more patient, more accepting and tolerant. Living in a joint family teaches you a lot. You don't always get to do things the way you want. And it takes a bit of strength to not go mad. The hardest thing I have learnt is to keep my MOUTH SHUT. Oh God ! Don't even get me started on this one. I have always been the person who says whatever she wants, without thinking about it first. I do not take crap from anyone. And its so hard to keep those instincts down. To smile and keep my mouth shut when all I want to say is, what a LOAD OF CRAP ! Okay, I admit. I get it out on Abdullah. You gotta do what you gotta do to keep sane.

Also, you cannot really be sarcastic. But that's fine. I balance it out with my siblings.

The reason I did not blog about my wedding has been procrastination. Simply, because I ended up watching a lot of youtube instead of writing whenever I got the chance. Also I just did not want to write. And I am a firm believer in doing things when you want to. And yeah, I was afraid of what people would say. I got my share of sarcastic remarks, you would say, on me getting married. The ironic part is I know that I have had the same thoughts on someone getting married at 19.

Every few weeks, Abdullah asks me if my views have changed on getting married young. My answer, NO !

Why make your life hard when you have it easy ?

But that is not to say that I do not enjoy it. I have had my share of awesomeness in the past year. I have traveled a lot. I have gotten to know Abdullah better. I say this to him a lot that if you had not made it worthwhile, I would have run away a long time ago. I have made another best friend.

2014 was basically the year of survival. While I didn't reach the winning stream, I didn't drown as well. I did things on my own pace.

Basically, I survived.

....SAP....

Letters To The Moon # 3 : I MADE IT

Dear Moon,

Successfully done with the wedding. I would call it a success based on the number of people I have pissed off and made enemies.

Its weird that all these years, I felt like wedding was this huge obstacle in the way of my plans. And it was something that was suppose to be done. Like you give SATs. Or you follow the Traffic Rules.

But that stereotype of mine has fallen from the top most shelf and is in a million pieces, being swept away by a broom.

I don't feel like anything has changed.

Other than being in a completely different house, with different people and waking up a little early than usual.

Last year, right about this time, I had a very different idea of where I wanted to be.

But I am satisfied of where I am right now. Its a good place. With excellent food. And lots of books.

The only accomplishment of mine this past year has been making through all this. I feel like getting a tattoo of "I MADE IT" on my forehead.

And the best part about is that I still feel like myself. I feel like the Sumaica who strives for extra-ordinary things, loves Pizza and sees the world a little differently.

So life is not that bad. Come to think of it, its not bad at all.

Except a lot of people bitching about different things. But than that always happens.

What about you ? I think, in my ramblings, I completely forgot that you exist. I haven't seen you around much. Mainly, because now my view from the bathroom has changed.

But no worries, I will find a way to see you again.

Adieu !

S

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Letters To The Moon # 2

May 18, 2014

Dear Moon,

I was coming back after having an amazing weekend and all along the car ride, my eyes were searching for you. But in vain, I counted six stars but not a single moon. 

I am turning 19 and getting married in exactly three days.

That is huge. And I know it. 

I am nervous. But not over the top nervous. 

The one thing that scares me are the expectations people have of me and with me. And the assumptions everyone seems to make.

I do not care about what people think of me. But people I love, care about what others think. And my love for these people makes me care about people's expectations. Its like they have already decided that I am going to fall off the ladder. And instead of holding the ladder, everyone is just watching and waiting for me to fall.

But I will not fall. I am not that weak. And you know it. I mean, you are a rock yourself. 

I do not know what is going to happen. My life is going to change, that is a given. But one thing I am going to do is make sure that my foremost success is happiness. 

My happiness and the people I love and care about, their happiness.

The rest will follow. 

In time, I plan to accomplish everything I have dreamt of and planned for. 

But you know what, I am still a little scared. 

What do you think ? Do you think I will be able to do it all ? Do you think that life will give me a chance ? Or I will have to snatch it from life itself. Do you think that my optimism will be my doom ? Do you think that I will fall of the ladder ? 

I leave you with that question.

Adieu !

S

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