Dear Moon,
Apparently, not knowing whether your husband is wearing the new shoes or not is also a crime in the married world.
I need some answers from these so called Desi mothers of ours. Why the hell do you bring up your kids so dependent on you ? They are independent enough to study in international universities, go to work at world renown companies but are not able to match their ties with shirts. How ? And why ? How is it a wife's responsibility to pick up his clothes off the floor ? Or call him every two hours to ask if he had breakfast, lunch etc ? Is he not sane enough to go and eat by himself ? or is he incapable of doing that ?
Please let your kids grow up. Let them do things on their own. Stop doing things for them. You are just creating problems. Nothing else.
You are just creating a grown up child who still wants his mommy at every step of the way. If you want to do that, do it by all means. Do not marry them then. Girls are not lying around waiting to care whether your son has new shoes on or not. Nor are they in a line to get ready every day for your son.
We have lives of our own. Lives we would like to live. We have personalities, habits, hobbies. Our lives are not because of your sons. We are made to parade around them like some sort of peacocks. We have to make sure that we love what they love. And eat what they eat. If they like chocolate and heaven forbids, we don't, that should be declared a crime, punishable by 5 years in jail.
In life, there comes a time, when you have to let go of your kids. If you try to hold onto them, tying the strings tighter, knot after knot, eventually they will break off these ties and go their way. You will be left behind wondering what you did wrong. On the other hand, letting them live their lives will mean that they include you in it as well. They give you the place and love you want and deserve.
Let that love be from the heart. Let it be pure.
Don't try to force something that can never be forced upon.
Yours always,
S
P.S. One day, I will actually say it to people's faces, till then let us just be content with this.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Friday, March 13, 2015
Letters To The Moon # 6
Dear Moon,
Its hard when you are caught in between things. You are in the middle of one of those suspended rope bridges on top of a river, seen on TV which everyone wants to cross, but it turns out that you are stuck. You cannot go forward because what awaits you is more horrifying than the rope under your feet. And you certainly cannot go back. So you stand their, holding onto the side of the bridge with all the strength that you can muster, hoping and praying that the bridge stays secure. And some miracle occurs.
I am caught in between life. I do one thing and the other suffers. And this between, its not a happy place. It is more of a temporary one.
Today, I realised something. That I do not need to be afraid. My biggest strength is standing right in front of me and I was oblivious to it all this time. I do not have to carry all that baggage with me. I do not have to be the bad person by talking back or talking about anything that I want.
All I have to do is be strong. Work hard and hold my ground on the things I love and the things I want to do.
Things are very simple. Its me who makes them complicated thinking about the consequences.
Here is the reality. I am not answerable to anyone. I am an adult. Okay, if you want to take it this way then the only person I need to consult in my decisions is my husband. And lets be honest, he is rarely going to have a problem with what I do with my life. If he is with me, the rest can go to an abandoned parking lot. I do not give a shit.
I am out of my parents jurisdiction. I am my own person now. So I should stop taking crap from all the other people in my life. And start paying attention. Thing is that no one will have a right to say anything if he is with me. So why the hell have I started caring so bloody much about it all ?
Why have I become such a tension freak ? Not every tiny detail is my fault. And I should stop taking it as that.
Yours always,
S
P.S. This is the moment where Abdullah realizes that he is screwed. But I am glad that I married the right person.
Its hard when you are caught in between things. You are in the middle of one of those suspended rope bridges on top of a river, seen on TV which everyone wants to cross, but it turns out that you are stuck. You cannot go forward because what awaits you is more horrifying than the rope under your feet. And you certainly cannot go back. So you stand their, holding onto the side of the bridge with all the strength that you can muster, hoping and praying that the bridge stays secure. And some miracle occurs.
I am caught in between life. I do one thing and the other suffers. And this between, its not a happy place. It is more of a temporary one.
Today, I realised something. That I do not need to be afraid. My biggest strength is standing right in front of me and I was oblivious to it all this time. I do not have to carry all that baggage with me. I do not have to be the bad person by talking back or talking about anything that I want.
All I have to do is be strong. Work hard and hold my ground on the things I love and the things I want to do.
Things are very simple. Its me who makes them complicated thinking about the consequences.
Here is the reality. I am not answerable to anyone. I am an adult. Okay, if you want to take it this way then the only person I need to consult in my decisions is my husband. And lets be honest, he is rarely going to have a problem with what I do with my life. If he is with me, the rest can go to an abandoned parking lot. I do not give a shit.
I am out of my parents jurisdiction. I am my own person now. So I should stop taking crap from all the other people in my life. And start paying attention. Thing is that no one will have a right to say anything if he is with me. So why the hell have I started caring so bloody much about it all ?
Why have I become such a tension freak ? Not every tiny detail is my fault. And I should stop taking it as that.
Yours always,
S
P.S. This is the moment where Abdullah realizes that he is screwed. But I am glad that I married the right person.
Sunday, March 01, 2015
Letters To The Husband # 2
Dear Abdullah,
The reason I started these letters was because I like to say thing, explain my thoughts, put them in words or write them down, I like expressing my views. But here is the problem, you don't like listening to me saying the same thing in ten ways for 15 minutes. I like saying everything that is on my mind, even if my theory has ten aspects and you understand it in the first two minutes. My mind needs to hear them out loud, for me to think it over and save it. So I thought, I will just write to you because you do read my blog.
You are a very content man and I love that quality about you. But being content stops you from aspiring for better things in life. It stops you from thinking ahead and you end up exactly where you were ten years ago. Living in the present is amazing but at the same time, we need to at least think about where we want our life to lead. We don't have any control over what happens but we owe it to ourselves to at least try.
Something that my friend's dad once said (which has stayed with me all this time), that I want the quality of my life to be good. When I work hard and get paid more, I am not going to put it all into savings for my retirement, first and foremost I will increase the quality of my life.
Don't get me wrong. I don't envy people who have the luxury to shop in Louise Vuitton or Gucci all day. Or take endless vacations to exotic places. Neither am I ungrateful for everything I have. Because I know that I live better than 90 % of the population in this world. And I probably don't deserve all that.
But I do like to aspire and work for better things in life. Whether that is the opportunity to travel more. Or buying more books. I like the idea of standing in my own apartment, a car parked underneath, studying further, a job that I love and all that being the result of our hard work. I say our, and I mean our. I do not mean YOURS or MINE. I know that a lot of the time, the things I say are either yours or mine. But this is OURS. I want us to have two separate lives intertwined with each others. The freedom to do what we want, at the same time be willing to compromise on certain things. But all that being OUR decision., not yours or mine or anyone else's.
I strayed from my point again. SORRY !
Khair, my point is that while we are very lucky and fortunate to live the way we do. But it's not all I want. It's not all what you should want.
Lately, I have seen you talking about what you want to do in the future. And here is what I think. I think you should do it. You know what we were talking about the other day and I kept interrupting you, telling my ideas. Let's do it. Right now. Right here. At this point in our lives.
If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that there is no time like the present to try.
Let's do something that you love and I have no interest in. But I am willing to try.
Yours,
SAP
The reason I started these letters was because I like to say thing, explain my thoughts, put them in words or write them down, I like expressing my views. But here is the problem, you don't like listening to me saying the same thing in ten ways for 15 minutes. I like saying everything that is on my mind, even if my theory has ten aspects and you understand it in the first two minutes. My mind needs to hear them out loud, for me to think it over and save it. So I thought, I will just write to you because you do read my blog.
You are a very content man and I love that quality about you. But being content stops you from aspiring for better things in life. It stops you from thinking ahead and you end up exactly where you were ten years ago. Living in the present is amazing but at the same time, we need to at least think about where we want our life to lead. We don't have any control over what happens but we owe it to ourselves to at least try.
Something that my friend's dad once said (which has stayed with me all this time), that I want the quality of my life to be good. When I work hard and get paid more, I am not going to put it all into savings for my retirement, first and foremost I will increase the quality of my life.
Don't get me wrong. I don't envy people who have the luxury to shop in Louise Vuitton or Gucci all day. Or take endless vacations to exotic places. Neither am I ungrateful for everything I have. Because I know that I live better than 90 % of the population in this world. And I probably don't deserve all that.
But I do like to aspire and work for better things in life. Whether that is the opportunity to travel more. Or buying more books. I like the idea of standing in my own apartment, a car parked underneath, studying further, a job that I love and all that being the result of our hard work. I say our, and I mean our. I do not mean YOURS or MINE. I know that a lot of the time, the things I say are either yours or mine. But this is OURS. I want us to have two separate lives intertwined with each others. The freedom to do what we want, at the same time be willing to compromise on certain things. But all that being OUR decision., not yours or mine or anyone else's.
I strayed from my point again. SORRY !
Khair, my point is that while we are very lucky and fortunate to live the way we do. But it's not all I want. It's not all what you should want.
Lately, I have seen you talking about what you want to do in the future. And here is what I think. I think you should do it. You know what we were talking about the other day and I kept interrupting you, telling my ideas. Let's do it. Right now. Right here. At this point in our lives.
If there is one thing I have learnt, it is that there is no time like the present to try.
Let's do something that you love and I have no interest in. But I am willing to try.
Yours,
SAP
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