Value Your Independence

When I was younger, I saw my mom being the man of the house. My dad was working out of country and so she was the one paying all the bills, fees, getting grocery, putting dinner on the table and making sure that her kids grow up as humans. She was living in a joint family system, managing a house and raising three kids.

And even when we were coming to KSA, she was the one doing the embassy rounds, making sure we had everything we needed from School Certificates to new bed sheets.

On top of it all, my father would challenge us siblings to see who would go furthest in the sea. When he taught me how to ride a bike, he would not rush to pick up the fallen bicycle, I had to do it. And I learnt riding a bike in two nights.

Along the ride, I was also taught the same thing. I was taught to do things. deal with situations and find solutions on my own. From wearing socks to getting in a fight at school, I was doing it myself. I used to tell them the daily happenings. They would listen and laugh at it, but never tell me what to or not to do.

That was always my call. Sometimes I made a good one. Sometimes a bad one.

And that has molded me into the person I am today.

Yes, I had to tell them when I was going out or if I was staying after school. Yes, they said no to a lot of things.

I really appreciate that. Because over the years, there have been times when I had no idea what to do but I did it anyway. Because I was taught that. And I ended up learning a lot from it.

Independence is one of the best things life has to offer. You do not need someone else to back you up if you believe in your own words. You cannot always wait for someone to fill out your Visa application forms. Or bake the cookies that you need to take to a party.

At the end of the day, no one else is going to come and clean the mess of your life.

You have to get up and go do it. Otherwise, you end up being the worst version of yourself.

Do not become Scarlette O'Hara. Become Jane Eyre or Elizabeth Bennet.

...SAP...

Be A Little Warmer

A few days back, Moawiz asked Amma,

"We are going to Pakistan. Will there be snow there ? "

"Yes, there will be snow," said my mom.

"So, there will be a Santa Claus and Christmas there ?", he asked with a very excited face. 

My mom started laughing and explained to him what Christmas is and that we don't celebrate it. But other people do. And he informed by mom about all the latest Christmas traditions. 

"So I won't be able to play in the snow ?"

My mom explained that snow is not just for Christmas. And that you can play how much ever you want. 

After a few days, my mom was telling this to someone over the phone. And the reply stunned me. That aunty went on to say, " How does your son know so much about Christmas ? Has he turned Christian ?"

My mom got really pissed and clarified that he watched a lot of cartoons, so he knows a lot of different things. And that he is 7. Than we all sat down and told Moawiz not to say something like this in front of certain people because the reaction is very bad. 

This got me thinking. When I was growing up, I had all different sorts of friends. Which included Non Muslim friends. And it was awesome. We respected their religion. They respected ours. They celebrated our festivals like their own even when we hesitated to do the same. But who can say no Christmas cookies and Chocolate Hazelnut fudge ?  It was a treat to see them wear Magenta coloured Pakistani clothes, arms covered with Mehndi and bangles, eating spicy food and asking for second helpings. 

Even in Pakistan, there was a Canadian family who lived right in front of my Khala's house in Rawalpindi. And I have grown up playing with there kids and the huge dog. I have baked cookies with them and decorated their Christmas tree. I have had bicycle races with them, popped firecrackers on Independence day while covered in Green and White and had Judy Aunty make us the best Strawberry Jam in the world. 

Some of the best people I have known, over the years are from different religions, different Nationalities, culture, traditions and what not. But even now there is no acceptance of the fact that two people with different religions can live in harmony and be friends. People will have their kids study in an American or British school because the studies are better. But the minute someone invites you to their Halloween party, its a disaster. Why ? 

Growing up abroad has had so many advantages. One of it being that you end up learning a lot about other religions. And you love them all the same. You know your beliefs and their limits, so you know not to cross them. But you also know to respect others and their religion like you would expect them to do with yours. So its give and take. 

Have you ever made hot chocolate with real chocolate ? If you have, than you will know that chocolate doesn't mix with the milk unless its melted and the milk is also warm. So they both have to do their two very different jobs to make one delicious drink. This is not that different than that. Learn to be a little warmer. 

......

Some Old Memories

I was cleaning my cupboard and going through all the old stuff. There were so many things. My reading list of 2011 stared back at me with all its glory because it has the names of 103 books written on it. There was the wrapping paper that Ghina gave me my B'day present in. There was this paper where me and Nadi had drawn Mosqui Teeba. There were papers on which my friends had written quotes or just random words that   I never threw out. Rough draft of the first ever poem that I wrote. A page from my mom's diary. My old speeches. Pictures of a few of my friends. My 9th grade roll no slip. The ice cream stick with  "like us on facebook" written on it. The candy stick from last years food festival that I never ate. Picture of my best friends sister who looks like a little cute boy in it. And some other random bits and pieces of different things.b

Sometimes I have difficulty in processing the fact that I am 17. Life has passed by really quickly. And it still is going by like its racing with the best car in town and it wants to win on any cost. Sometimes I want life to stop and take a pause. Let me get my bearings and fully understand what I am doing. But life does not stop for anyone. Its like a train with no destination. And you are on it.

I love making memories. I want to live my life to the fullest. So that when I am old and whiter haired, I would have tons of pictures and stories related to them to tell the people around me. I could say that yes, I have done everything I ever wanted.

I think that when you look back at your life, you realise what you were and what you have become. You understand the things that you did and that you shouldn't do again. The mistakes you made, the triumphs you celebrated. The loser you were, the winner you became. The kid you were and the adult that life made you. The pain that brought tears to your eyes and the joys that brought a smile to your pretty face. What people thought you were but what you really became. Weakling is what they called you, fighter is what you proved yourself to be. Times when you had no money to buy an ice cream, times when you spent hundreds of dollars on one pair of shoes. Times when no one stood by you, times when you made everyone stand by you. Times when you fell down, times when you picked yourself up again. Times when you failed, times when you succeeded. Times when death faced you, times when life engulfed you. Simply all times.

I look back at my life from time to time and I learn a lot of things from reflecting back at it. It has been an awesome journey so far and I hope that it will be more awesome in the future. It is good to look at all your old memories and look at the person you were. Memories have always been very important to me and they always will be. This is what life is about. Just living it one day at a time and not forgetting who you are.

...SAP...