This Society And Its Cruelness

There was a death in the city three days ago.

.

An aunty very dear to us, had the misfortune of losing her husband. He was in the hospital the past 1 and a half month, really sick, not being able to cope with pain but he was breathing, alive. 

I have seen that aunty go about her day, working selflessly for others. When she got married, her husband had a whole family to support, so she spend her years, cutting down her needs, educating and then marrying her husbands siblings. By that time, her own kids were grown up, so there studies became a priority. After that came marriages and finally after all these years, she was free. 

The time had come for her to sit back and relax. 

But destiny had something else in mind. 

Word gets around very fast. Its twisted like a piece of twine. Some of the things I heard were down right cruel. 

"See, his sons are Hafiz-e-Quran. But when I asked him to read Quran to his father, he put it on a mobile instead of reading it out loud himself."

"We went to their house to pay our respects and his daughters did not even come out of there rooms."

"I was sitting there for half an hour and I was not asked for water. Back home, we are served tea, samosas, biscuits etc."

"All of there kids are so rude. What was the use of their parents sacrificing so much for such selfish kids ?"

"At least my kids are not like this. If I die, they will arrange for catering and make sure no one goes hungry from our house."

"Ali Sahab and his wife were religious but their kids were not at all. They cared too much about worldly things."

"Parents need to focus more on their kids upbringing. Ali Sahab should have paid attention to his kids religious education."

"His eldest daughter was not even crying. Instead of tears dripping down her face, she was looking after her own daughter."

"Where was their daughter in law's family ? My neighbour's daughter told me that no one visited, from their family in these three days."

This is what is being talked about at a dead man's funeral.

Yes, they are praying for his forgiveness in the next world, for him to be awarded Jannah, reciting Quran and Darood Shareef for hours. But when they go back to their homes, this is what they talk about. Apparently, this was more important then that man's funeral.

So the next time, someone dies near to us. We need to forget our own grief and cater to the people around us. We need to make sure that they get tea, biscuits, eat Biryani, Qorma, Karahi and then Gajar ka Halwa for dessert. Then spread quilts filled with bird feathers, under them so they sit in the most comfortable way possible. We should assist them in every way so they go home and talk about some other nonsense.

You would expect that our society would leave you alone when a person you dearly loved, dies.

But no ! Not even death can put scotch tape on their mouths.

Lord knows what truly can. 

The Gossiping Ever Loving Aunties

The past weekend just went by in a blur. There were meet ups with friends who have come home after getting in there colleges, end of exam parties, family dinners, IKEA runs with my dear parents and not to forget the most important of all, the annual Book Exhibition.

Every year I wait for the sign board to go up on the round about near my house and when I finally see it, I light up like a Christmas tree. Even thought they hardly ever have the latest books. This year, I just went in for 20 minutes, firstly because it was so crowded and secondly because that is the same day my parents decided to go for the other million errands.

I am the worst negotiator in the world. The whole point of a Exhibition is bargaining. And what I do is simply pay the first price the guy tells me. Which leaves me with no money after five books. And I realize my error 20 miles away, on my way to someone's house.

The one thing that I embarked upon was to never ever and I mean ever go to IKEA with your parents. Unless you want them to take you somewhere else and going to the other hundred places is your bargaining chip. See, I told you I suck at bargaining.

You see, they will tell you that its just an in and out trip to get the chairs they saw in the catalogue. But I promise you that they will stop at every thing, from cutlery, shower curtains, kitchen fittings, lamps to even the decorations aisle. And your younger siblings will be having the time of their life because they would have converted the IKEA map into a treasure hunt. Meanwhile you are standing there in an aisle full of plastic containers, looking like an idiot, thinking to your self that how the hell did I get here.

From there, I ended up at an aunt's place for dinner. It was supposed to be low key but they have a misprinted dictionary so I am sure they are not fully aware of the meaning of 'low key'. Its the kind of dinner that I go to after I have asked my friend at least ten times if she is absolutely hundred percent sure that she will be there.

Other wise you end up sitting with a bunch of aunties who ask you about your roti making skills. Which, lets be honest, are none so far. Then go on to enquire about the 'khana pakana skills' (making food). Then starts the comparing of your skills to the other people sitting there regardless of the fact that they are 25 or have an interest in doing things. The best part is yet to come. That is when aunties, you have never met join the conversation and talk about you like you are Kim Kardashian.

Here is the thing, these things annoy me to the point that I want to stab myself and pretend I am suicidal. But I still love these aunties. Because in their own weird way they love me. They will pack a huge container of Russian salad especially for you because its your favourite. They will give you a laptop or a tablet so that you do not get bored at their house. They make sure that their house is stocked with your favourite chips and drinks. They will adjust their outings and family beach plans around your exam schedules.

And this all has a plus side. Firstly, you got the measuring spoons for your baking and now you don't have to convert everything from grams to cups and stuff. You have books in your hands which you not only can read but admire the gorgeous covers as well. Nothing can better therapy than books. The night ends by meeting your amazing friend, eating the best food, taking it home and having a great time with her.

Find the positive in every negative that you get. Sometimes we make even the good things bad. What we need to do is to search for that one tiny dot of Saffron that makes the whole room smell like paradise. Life is much easier when you start seeing the positive things in the negative ones. Maybe they were positive all along.

Adieu !

S

P.S. Just do it till you get your driving license.
P.P.S. This weeks song on repeat in my playlist happens to be Set Fire to the Rain by Adele.

Nip The Evil In The Bud

Gossipping. And talking about other people. And making fun of others. This started last year. Somehow in the past year, our talks became more about what other people were doing and less about what we were doing. We became so much interested in other people's lives. And we became invested in it. What they were doing? Why they were doing that ? And it kind of became an obligation to comment on various activities that people were involved in. It was like this girl said that to her friend who told another one of her friends and on and on. By the time the news reached certain people, I am sure it was not even true. But nobody cared to know the background. Because everybody had something to talk about.

I felt like I was 7 again and I was playing Chinese Whisper. But instead of being a game, it was real life. And real people were being talked about. And I know that I was one of those people being talked about. I also know that some of the things that went around were very true and were wrong. But nonetheless, I believe that I had no right to talk about those things. Gossipping is like Chicken Pox. It is a highly contagious disease which stings everybody in the end. And it spreads like fire. 

I have always hated gossipping. But even I started liking it. It was sick. Believe me, when you are the one being talked about, it is not fun. Not at all. And no matter how much you try, you cannot change the story. So when the new year started, one of the promises I made to myself was that I will not talk about others anymore. Or make fun of them. Trying is in my hands and I will try. I do not want to end up like one of those Aunties whose sole purpose is to keep track of every body's life and then pass the information on, mixing it with a lot of spices and exaggerating the story. 

For a little while I was a small mind as well. But not anymore. Not anymore. This is me "Nipping the evil in the bud". 

...SAP...