Friendship Came As A Girl

I ask myself, what this school gave me and my heart whispers, friends...friends...friends.
Friends are rain, which makes you happy and full of life.
Friends are the voice in your head which says tomorrow is going to be fun.
Friends are thumbs, your whole school life is of no use without them.
Friends are people who eat your lunch and you starve all day.
Friends are people who have seen you at the bottom of a giant pit and at the heights of Mount Everest.

Friendship came in unexpected ways, at unexpected times and touched the deepest corners of my heart.

FRIENDSHIP CAME AS A GIRL.

• A girl who is 4'9. 
• Someone who eats my lunch all the time and even ties my laces. 
• her signature is her hair in her face.
• the face I search for on entering the classroom.
• a girl who agrees to disagree with me in every single matter.
• someone who wouldn't think twice before giving me her dearest things, her books.
• someone who knows me better than I know myself at times.

She and I polar opposite but at the same time we are as similar as two chocolate chip cookies. Two halves of a single soul. You are my significant other, my best friend, the sister I never had and never wanted.

When I look at you, I am reminded of my favourite book, I remember cherishing each and every word it had to say, that moment when I closed that book, tears streaming down my face, because just like that book, you will forever remain in my heart.

So friend, I would like you to know:

• You are the engine to my Bugatti
• You are the cherry to my pie
• the smile I cannot replace
• the chocolate to my sorrows
• the coffee to my crappy mornings
• Cheesecake to my good old Biryani
• prologue to the book that I will write someday
• punchbag to my anger
• You are my flame in the dark
• You are that one star on the night sky which says, I will be there if no one else is.

Friends are like pearls on a necklace, as each pearl has its individual radiance so does every single friend.

Friendship blossoms like dandelions in an orchard.

Friends light your days like the sun glowing on an afternoon sky.

I consider myself the richest girl alive, I may not own Jimmy Choo heels, Gucci handbags or hundreds of silk dresses but I have you all as my friends and that is all I can ever ask for.

Friends are my strength, my arms, my legs, my heart and my soul.

So lets hold our hands and make a promise, together as we step into the future that we'll do our best to be our best as we have been with each other.

                                                                               -By Muteeba Fayyaz and Sumaica Asad

P.S. This is what me and my friend wrote for our spoken word poetry. We would like to dedicate this to all the friends that we made in our lives and the ones we will make in the time to come. Special dedication to the four hooligans in our lives, Nadiya Siddique, Huma Nabeel, Ghina Haroon and Misbah Malik. Thank you ! Simply for being our friends. You guys are love. 

...SAP...

That One Moment

It was our 2nd year farewell a few days back. And it went perfect. Well, almost perfect. Things seem to shake up a little bit when we as in me and my friends are the ones doing everything. I guess its the way we work or the ideas we materialise.

Me and Muteeba had decided to do Spoken Word Poetry inspired by Sarah Kay. Honestly, we have never done anything together. Never. Ever. In the past six years that we have been friends, we have taken a lot of sides, fought fights, stood up for people, done things but never really done anything for ourselves. Just the two of us against the world. Or something. We never had a chance and we never made one. So we thought that we should perfect a moment that will portray our friendship for the rest of our lives. And I can proudly say that we succeeded.

Believe me, a confident person like me was about to give up. Because I sucked that much while practising. We had one day to practise it and it was going very bad. Very very bad. But all that did not matter on the stage. I was there with the one person who has truly defined friendship for me. So everything else just vanished. I felt like it was complete. It was perfect. At least for me it was. And I kept thinking that this is the first and last time I am doing this with her. We did it, with the mistakes that only we know, with similes in every sentence and with the friendship that we have shared for so many years. That moment I realise that I had done something right in my life to be blessed with such an amazing friend. That day I was truly grateful for what I have.

I feel like I never really got to beat somebody up for making fun of her or something. I did get to do that for others but never really her. You know, feel your blood rushing to your face for punching someone who had just insulted your best friend. Never really got to do that. Do not get me wrong. We have always had each others back. That is not even for anyone to question. But something was missing and we found that. Because we were on the stage doing a combination of all the things that we love. Words, poetry, books, writing, similes, chocolate, food, horses and most of all friendship. These are just a few. But that one moment was beyond perfect for me.

P.S. Muteeba, if life ever gives me a chance to punch someone for you, I promise I will. Although you would probably have had that person onto his knees by then.

...SAP...

When I Was In 2nd Grade

When I was in second grade, I had a Math teacher. She was just love. I do not even remember her name but I do remember her awesomeness. I remember the way she used to flip her hair and that boots she wore that told you from a mile that she was coming. In her class, my hand always used to shoot up just like Hermione's. My mom told me that I used to hold her finger tight in my hand and never used to let it go

Unfortunately, our teacher got changed and she started teaching some other section. I tried liking the new teacher but it just didn't work. So I went up to her and said that I do not like the new teacher. She should come back etc. And I started crying. She wiped away my tears and said,

"Sumaica, you know tears are actually your energy. So whenever you cry, you are wasting your energy. And you, you are a horse. You have so many races ahead of you that you have to win. You cannot afford to waste one bit of that energy of yours."

By now I was hooked up and her words were leaving an impression on my mind. She continued,

"And maybe the new teacher is not like me. But someday you will get a teacher who will be better than me. And then you will get to see a part of me in her. Because every teacher like every parent is the same at heart."

I am not even in contact with her anymore. But I want her to know. Ma'am, your horse has grown up. She is winning her races. She lost some as well. But she says, if not this one, then the other. She has learnt not to waste her energy, just like you told her. And yes, she did find teachers who were better than you. But nobody was you. She saw your reflection in the teachers that taught her. And your words still echo in her mind from time to time.

...SAP...

Anger - An Impulse

It was 5th grade and I was merely 10 years old. But my anger had always been very impulsive and I had a tendency to take it out on people. I never meant to but that is how it was. Somehow I used to lose my thinking capability. My brain used to shut down and hormones came over it. I said things I never meant. Sometimes that still happens. But now it is very rare. I remember once I was shouting at someone over something and my gym teacher saw that. He said to me that, Sumaica, take your anger physically out on non living things rather than actual people. So that whole year whenever something used to piss me off, I use to go to the gym and work out. Whatever work out a 10 year old can do. But my point is that it took 15 minutes of physical labour for my anger to pass like a bad storm. And that helped me a lot to keep my anger in control over the years.

According to the Oxford Dictionary, anger is a strong feeling of extreme displeasure. I define it more like as wanting to punch someone so hard that their teeth fall out and they have a toothless ugly smile.

Sometimes I think that kids are better than us in this respective. They take out their anger by punching someone or throwing a tantrum in the middle of a mall. It lasts only 15 minutes and then they let go of it and forget whatever happened. On the other hand being an adult makes you do what people call it "think rationally". So instead you just keep on spinning things over and over again like a cotton candy is spun. And if you take a cotton candy, compress it, there is nothing in it. And that is how things are when we are angry.

Everyone of us needs a solution to control our anger. Or to at least let go of it. It is like figuring out all the kinks of a damaged car, so that only you know how to drive it. I found mine after a long time. So today whenever I am angry, my diary or any paper finds me and words tumble out of my pen like men breaking away from a prison. But once those words have left my hand, then I never think about those things again. We all have that solution. Whether it is working out in a gym, writing, going on a drive or shouting at your loved ones.

Like Maya Angelou said,

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."

So at the end of the day, I learnt that being angry helps no one. It effects only you and the damage done has to be repaired by you. So like a car, you have to figure out all the kinks and find a solution to let go of it. That is what helps everyone keep their sanity.

...SAP...

Allah Knows Best

We were reading Ghalib the other day in school. And according to him, death is the solution to all our sorrows, pain, troubles and problems. He says that all our life we are bound in this cycle of tension and worries. We start from worrying about small things like riding a bicycle, go on to worry about our studies and future, after studies we are afraid of our jobs, after jobs comes marriage, then we have kids, their worries occupy us, then they grow up, get married and so on. The cycle goes on. And you keep on worrying, not stopping for a second. Every day grief grips you tightly with its strong claws and you are not able to free yourself despite trying. The only solution is death. death is what frees you from all your pain. The hold of grief weakens when you die. And you are let go. Every pain that you have lived in your life, whether it is of love, hatred, friendship, family, relative, school, studies, future, teenage, youth, adulthood, etc. Your life ends and you are finally free of everything.

For the first two minutes I was agreeing with him. Then it hits me. He is wrong. Very wrong, indeed. Our lives do not end after our death. In reality that is when they start. We enter in another lifetime, where we are answerable to every single deed we have ever done. Death is not an escape. It is not a gate to freedom. It is just a passage from one life to another. We have to answer to our Creator. Our Sustain-er. Whatever we do in this life will have its consequences there. We will have to answer what we did with our live. How we lived. Our real life starts after death. Life is like our course book which we have to learn by heart. And death is the car which is taking you to your examination center. Then comes the exam. It will be the exam of our lives.

He knows. Every shard of glass that went inside you, pierced your insides and you felt like you will never be the same again, He knows. For He never lets anyone go through what they cannot handle. He had a reason. Whatever happened, happened for a reason. Allah knows. And Allah cares. It was for your benefit. Like the time when you got less marks in your exam, it was because He wanted you to study Psychology instead of Physiology and help that kid across the street. When you did not get the new clothes, He was saving the money for your Dads surgery. When you did not get admission in the college you wanted, He wanted you to study at Oxford. When you had to move across the continents, He wanted you to know what great friendship is. So the next time you feel like hitting your head with the walls and think that the world you knew has vanished. That the only way to get rid of everything is to die. Do know that it is NOT. Allah knew that you will be able to handle it, that is why you went through what you did.

Allah says:

 "and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know." (Qur'an Surah Baqarah 2:216)

...SAP... 

Dream It. Believe It. Achieve It

Why do we dream ? Our dreams are things that we would want to do in our life. Things that we secretly want or the life that we imagine ourselves in. Things we would like to become. Things we would like to have. But if we don't get it because you do not get everything. What happens then ? Your own dreams become your worst nightmare and you wish that you would never have dreamt.

People say that nightmares are the one that are fearful but dreams should be feared more. Because if what you dream, you don't achieve it, you are broken in pieces and that is the worst kind of fear anyone can imagine. Nightmares are horrible thoughts and things that you see just like an enemy that you know is not good for you but dreams are like double faced friends. You think that they are your best friends when at the end of they day, they stab you in the back.

When you dream, it is like you are creating a very high building. A skyscraper. And when reality hits you, that building comes down crumbling and no amount of hard work can save it. Because dreaming is not hard work. It is more like the shortcut of just wanting things, not going after them. Because people who want things, go after them.

Maybe that is enough reason for us to live in reality. I remember once someone said to me that you should even dream by first looking at what you can dream. What the hell ? Right ? I mean, now even dreams have prices. It is true that you dream when you know that you can get them. Reality is cut throat but it keeps you on the earth and does not let you fly to the seventh sky. So if you ever by mistake fall down, you will not get bruised badly.

There is a dreamer and then there is a realist.

But then if we do not dream then how are we suppose to live ? Because dreams are your beliefs as well. So if you do not dream, it is like not believing. It is as if you are hopeless, that you have given up before even trying. How can you be so sure that you will not achieve it ? How do you know that you cannot do it ? Have you seen the future ? Do you not believe in the person who created you ? Believe in Allah. In life things tend to workout from the least expected ways possible. Ways you had never imagined. When thousands of doors close on you, another opens up.

I think today I can say that yes, it is okay to dream. Dream it. Believe it. Achieve it. Your determination and your belief in them will get you to your dreams. So one day, you will wake up and will be where you always wanted to be. Your bubble will not burst. And then all that remains are the times when you did not believe in yourself and all the obstacles that came your way.

Have the courage to go after what you dream. Change the reality of your life by going for your dreams. Instead of living the reality, change it. Because it is better to live with the fact that you went after your dreams then to live with regrets of not dreaming. 

Like Henry David Thoreau said:

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours. "

Dream like a king. Work like a donkey. Believe like a crazy person. And one day the world will be yours.

...SAP...

A Letter To My Dad

February 14, 2013

Dear Abbu,

I do not know from where to start, so I guess I will start with I love you. I love you to moon and back. And honestly, I never can imagine my life without you. You are the most important person in my life and will always be. I love how when at 10 in the night (which is late for you) I tell you I need something, you always go get it for me. I love how you always crush my hand every SINGLE time I shake yours. I remember I use to tell every single person that my dad is a Gold Medalist because I always have been so proud to be your daughter.

Abbu, you are my everything. You are my one in a million. I do not need the moon to come out or the sun to shine because I have you. You are better than Koh-I-Noor ( the worlds largest and priceless diamond), Bugatti Veyron, Taj Mehal or all of my favourite books. I love books and writing. You and mom are the only two people who are better than any book, any piece of writing, any poem, any poet and any author out there in the world.

I cannot compare you to anything in this world because you simply are one of a kind. I look at you and I see a person beyond awesome. I see someone whose kindness to strangers amazes me everyday. Who is calm before the biggest storm comes, at even the worst disasters or Huzaifa crashing his car for the millionth time.  I see kindness, compassion, determination, calmness, hard work, beauty. I see perfection.My deepest desire is to be exactly like you, like the person who has loved and pampered me for the past 17 years and will always continue to do so. I love you. I love the guy who would not notice that he needs new shoes or a new shirt, who would think ten times before buying a single thing for himself and would not think twice before getting the same thing for his kids.

I remember once, someone said to you that all your kids have the latest cell phones in their hands whereas you use the same old one, why ? You laughed and said, well their dad is an Architect and mine, unfortunately is dead. I wish I could have met Dada because I bet you are exactly like him.

It is amazing whoever meets Asad Latif Piracha, even for the first time says, what a remarkable man. Well, I happen to be the daughter of that same remarkable man, and the ONLY one.

When other fathers were stopping their daughter from doing stupid things, you were prompting me and were fully involved. I remember how you always dared us to see who goes the furthest in the sea. The day when you took me to the Bakra Mandi in Pakistan on my insistence. When you made me drive your car at 11. When you showed us Abu Hamour on the bonnet of your car. I, now realise that you have never given the authority to Huzaifa to mind me, at times it is the other way around. I never knew that a thing called discrimination existed between sons and daughters in the world because I am the one being favoured at home.

Every "My favourite personality" or "Role Model" essay has been written on you. Growing up I have always wanted to be like you. The way you smile, a very rare one once in a while and I can sense it being sent from your heart. You know why I love Math, because you love Math. Why I eat peas, because you eat peas. Why money is not important to me, because it is not important to you. Why my anger is so impulsive, because yours is as well. Why I have 1.5 sketching skills, because you have like 100% sketching skills.

I am sorry. For all the times I was a jerk, brat and an ass. For things that I have done wrong. For being a disappointment at times.

Thank you. For asking for a daughter from Allah. Thank you, for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you, for ignoring all my mistakes. Thank you, for never scolding me. Thank you, for always taking my side. (Please, continue to do so in the future) Thank you, for never imposing anything on me. Thank you, for believing in me. Thank you, for letting us do things our way. Thank you, for being who you are. Thank you, for being my dad.

I promise to be a better person. Well, I promise to try and be like you, that will automatically make me a good person. I promise you that one day, I will make you proud.

Happy Birthday ! May you live thousand years more. May the worlds happiness and success be yours, today and always. May you always remain like you are today.

I am glad that I am your daughter and that I can look up to you anytime. I hope someday I become exactly like the person you are today.

Yours always,
Your one and only daughter.

P.S. Happy Half A Century ! That does make you old.

...SAP...