It Rained ! In Qatar ! In November !

I was just coming out of the bathroom, when I was informed by my dear husband that I had just missed the first thunderstorm of the season.

My reaction consisted of a lot of shrieking and running to the window to inspect everything myself. The sky was so beautiful. It looked like it was 5 in the evening, when the sun is almost down, and its that moment between going all dark and being full bright.

With more pressing matters on my mind like getting make up off my face and changing into comfy PJ's, I moved on from the sky.

We were ready to go to sleep. At least Mr A was. I had tons of studying to do. But following his routine, he got up to smoke. And that magical moment when I am told that it is raining. I have never appreciated his smoking habits more.

I ran to the window. And it was raining.

In Qatar ! In November ! Aaaah, what a magical night !

I wanted to jump out of the window and dance in the rain. But sadly, now my actions are monitored.

I am proud to say that I did not forget my camera. Which was such a waste because I ended up not using it anyway.

When we went downstairs into the compound, I was so sad to see that no one was outside.

NOT A SINGLE SOUL !

IT WAS RAINING. In QATAR ! And no one was out.

Everyone was hanging out from there windows, taking pictures on their I pads or phones.

We being the stupid ones got into the car and went on a drive. After getting into the car, I realised that showering myself with rain and getting the brand new leather seats ruined is not an option. My heart was crying and cursing my husband at that point. And my, why the hell did I marry this guy ? thoughts were back.

But after two streets, he thankfully reversed the car and we came back home to rain.

There was still no one outside in the compound. It made me sad. What has the world come to ? Why are things like rain and rainbows hold no importance in our life anymore ? How is it that today, we are more into updating our statuses about rain than going out and enjoying it ?

In Pakistan, we had a ritual. The minute rain started, my dad would tell mom to make "Pakoras". All us kids would be out playing games like "Pakkan Pakrai" and cricket in the rain. Lemonade would be made. My mom would hand out all the snacks to dripping wet kids. Our days of rain would always end by having a huge water fight with all the water bottles of the house.

I love technology and all the ways our life has become easier. But I do miss the fact that we have forgotten the small things in life.

Like rain, sunsets and rainbows.

....SAP....

How Does This World Work ?

I have my own bank account.

Every time I say these words, there is this shock that comes with it.

How ?

I still cannot believe that.

I know that today, its very normal to have a bank account. Every kid on the street probably has a credit card.

But for me its not a small thing. I mean, I am 19 and I have my own account with my own money in it. When did that happen ? When did I become capable of doing that ?

There are people in this world, who live there entire lives working hard to get certain things. And I have all those things without even lifting my finger. And I am only 19.

It makes me wonder how this world works.

For me bank accounts portray first jobs, first hard earned money that you slaved for all your life. You started with nursery, went on to primary school and somehow ended up in an office after submitting dozens of CV's, giving interviews, feeling like a complete loser despite having a legit degree. That is what an account is worth to me. It signifies achievements and that sweat your poured into whatever you did to have those few notes transacted in your account.

So it feels weird to me. It feels surreal. Because I am getting all this without working for it. Unless you count surviving a marriage.

Than hell yeah, I deserve this.

I do not count that. So lets just leave it at that.

The thing I am most excited about is seeing my name on that piece of magical card which brings money to you.

Or not, if your account is empty. Which mine is going to be pretty soon.

I am actually going to challenge myself to see how many months I can survive before my bank balance goes zero.

...SAP...

Pir-e-Kamil !

Aab e Hayyat !

Its first episode is right in front of me. And I do not know what to do.

I love Pir e Kamil. Love is a very small word to describe what I feel for this book. Its that book. The book that changes your life.

How you think about it. How you live it. How you do anything.

I cannot decide whether I should read it or not. I know I am not going to able to contain myself. But I just want to take a moment and remember what it felt like to start this book. Once again, this book is going to change my life.

I have been waiting for this book since 2008. That was the year that I read Pir E Kamil. I was 13. Barely old enough to understand the book. My Khala gifted this book to my elder brother on his result after he told her how much he had loved reading a little bit of it.

Huzaifa used to write about this book in every Slam Diary that I made. And he kept telling people to read it. His only advice was read Pir e Kamil. It will change your world.

And he was right.

Because it did change my world.

Whenever I go back to this book, I start seeing it in a different light. I learn something new, something incredible. The book is like a maze, the more you explore it, the more you keep finding treasures.

I wish I had the ability to write just 1 percent as Umera Ahmed does. But than, its a gift.

After reading this book for the first time, I am never going to have that. I am never going to be able to read it again. To have that feeling where you know you are reading an incredible book and you do not know what is to come.

One thing is certain, I will love this book no matter how the story folds out.

...SAP...

Removal Of Assets

I am studying to be an Accountant.

This semester, I am studying topics like Fraud and Internal Control in an organisation, in one of the papers. There are two types of fraud. One is "Removal of Assets or Funds From the Business". Something that comes under this category is "Misappropriation of assets from the organisation", which basically means that as an employee, you are taking an advantage of your position. You may be taking something home that belongs to the organisation. It can be a small thing like a Stapler. Or you might be stealing high end perfumes from the shop.

When I was a kid, my dad always said that stealing is stealing. Whether it is a pencil or a laptop. Its the act that is the same, the thing is of no value. He used to bite the end of his pencils in his office so if he took them home, he knew which one was the company's. And to this day, not one of us kid is allowed to write with any of the pens that my dad uses because they are not ours.

None of us give any importance to little matters like this. But the truth is that it is fraud. You are committing a felony.

Another type of fraud that is included in this category is "Misusing of Organisation's Assets". The most common instance is that we are given a car for office use. But instead it is in your son's hands being used to hang out with his friends. Or for sight seeing Kangaroos with your daughters best friend and your wife's sister's family.

After working in the same company for more than 25 years, now my dad uses his office car for personal use as well. And its only after being granted the official permission. According to him, I do not want my kids being dishonest. It starts with stealing a pencil and than leads to cars, drugs, money etc in the future.

It does not matter what's the value of the thing you misused or stole.

We as human beings have a tendency to dismiss such things as "Being small matters and not that big of a deal".

It will become a big deal, once you develop the thinking that you can utilise anything that comes your way regardless to who it belongs to.

In school, everyone used to open each others bags to take out a notebook or a pen without asking or telling. Obviously, I did not mind my friends opening my school bag. But than everyone who wanted something would just waltz in and open my bag like its their property. I hated that. And I made sure that everyone knew that.

I mean, didn't your mom ever teach you to ask before taking something ?

If you have forgotten. Than start learning.

If you don't. Its called "STEALING". Which is a "FELONY".

Yes, you might not go to jail for taking a rubber out of my pencil box. But when that rubber converts to an Omega watch, you will find yourself in a 7 by 8 foot room.

...SAP...

Having To Act Older

I got married at 19. Which sounds crazy right now but it turned out good in my case.

One of the things that I have to deal with because of getting married at such a young age is people wanting me to act ten years older than I really am.

Despite being the youngest in the house and being married to the third kid in the family, everyone is adamant to make me the eldest.

I am 19. I am going to act 19. Just because I said yes to this social stigma does not mean that I have grown horns and am a Stag now. I am at the age where all I want to do is sleep, study, eat, do what I love and repeat. I want to go out and spend all my money on one thing i.e, if I have money in the first place. I do not have any responsibilities on my shoulder and the last thing I desire is to act as someone would want me to. So I do not give a second thought to what people say about me or to me.

Because its not on my list of things to care about.

I am going to act stupid and make poor decisions. I am going to disagree with you on certain things and do what I want in others. I am going to eat out all week and gain weight. I will stay up all night watching Harvey somehow winning despite losing the case and than Mike Ross dumping his girlfriend for someone else. I will make excuses to go out on endless dinners to people's houses I barely know.

The last thing I would want to do is get ready every single day. I do not mean the put on clothes, a couple pieces of jewelry, Mascara, Kajal and Lip Gloss and hope to look half decent. Its more like choosing the clothes with the most beads and thread work on, matching the bag and shoes, making your sure your skin looks like it can be featured in a B grade style magazine, putting on as much of the Gold jewelry as you can manage and after that, praying to not look like you are on your way to a wedding. When instead you are at home decorating yourself for no reason.

Imagine going out for a walk on corniche in that attire.

People expect that you will change your husbands habits and make him quit smoking or not drink Pepsi. They want you to participate in every small thing that goes around the house. You are suppose to take part in what gifts to be given to others. You have to go to all their friends and relatives and be the picture of a "Perfect Bahu". Everyone expects that you will make the other do stuff they do not want, as if you are a magician instead of a girl.

I would not want someone to tell me to stop drinking Coke than why should I tell him ? Everyone of my mothers endless friends know that I will appear in their social gatherings only on Eid.

Its not that I cannot bear all these little things. I can. And I do.

But sometimes they infuriate me.

There so much small talk that I can make.

Almost all the friends in your family's circle are in their Forties or Fifties. And I am not even half that age. I cannot bridge that gap just because one day I got married.

Not happening any time soon.

I have been lucky in this regard that I am blessed with an incredible family, who 95% percent of the time treat me, my age. And let me be who I am instead of making me what everyone wants. Its been almost four months since I got married and I have attended a total of 5 Post Wedding Mandatory Show Off Dawats. In another time and place, I would be attending at least a 100 of them.

And I am not even exaggerating right now.

Basically you have to get ready, eat and socialize with plastic smiles on your faces and acting as if you care.

When in reality you are just two crazy kids trying to figure out life and being happy at the same time.

I know that I might sound ungrateful. Some girls do want to do all that. But I do not. Not at this age or any age, for that. Everyone has different things that they find difficult.

This is just one of mine.

...SAP...

You Gotta Dress To Impress

The one thing I see in a guy is his dressing. I will not notice the height, features or the smile. Its the clothes, the way his shirt matches that rolled up denim, the square dial watch compliments his wrist or the mismatched socks peaking out of those Neon Converse.

Its in the details.

Today, dressing has diminished. There are very few guys who actually like to find out what suits them and what does not. We live in an era where there is more make up on our faces and less clothes on our bodies.

Even now, if you go to a simple shop in Pakistan, the shop keeper will be wearing crisp white starched Shalwar Kameez of the latest trend, watch, his hair combed neatly partitioned to the right and sandals which shine more than your Silver ware on the dining table.

Unfortunately, when I got married, the first thing I got to know was that Mr A is, well, not into clothes. By that I mean, he has no interest in making sure that his leather jacket is of the latest cut and style, let alone wear Car cuff links or a Burj Khalifa Tie Pin. His idea of looking presentable enough to be seen in public is wearing sweatpants with a t shirt.

I know. I don't believe where I ended up either. But that is the reality of life.

So my fantasies of seeing him dress up in a Blazer or a nice Vest, went down the brain and into the delete pile of my thoughts. Because if I ask him to go and change clothes, it goes from sweat pants to jeans and a black t shirt.

I often tell him that if I were a girl in a mall, I would not even give him a second glance.

On top of all this, his working space and his environment has been very casual so he does not has to make an effort.

But now all that is going to change.

Mr A got a new job. And its a fancy one. I term it "fancy" in the dressing department.

He is an accountant, so he has to wear work suits and much more formal clothing than he is used to.You cannot just walk around wearing dress pants and a white shirt anymore.

Sometimes you do not want to do a particular thing. But than circumstances change, and you end up embracing the change.

Welcome to the big league ! Where you have to dress to impress. 

...SAP...

I Can Finally Drive

Even before I turned 16, I wanted to go to USA. Because you could get your drivers license at 16. That was the utmost teenager dream of mine. I had it all planned out. I would get an International Drivers License and hopefully, I could drive in Qatar at 16, as well.

My dear dad was kind enough to hand me the keys and show me the place behind the steering wheel at 11 years. I used to drive alongside the beach right up the Saudi border because we used to visit it every month to get our Visit Visa renewed.

As I grew up, I got busy in other things and driving was pushed to the back of my mind. 

But as 20 May 2013 came nearer, my excitement grew. Because I would finally turn 18. The sacred moment I had waited for all these years. 

Imagine me, driving Corniche road, looking hip in Mint Ray-Bans and the stereo cracked up to my "at the moment obsessed song".

And than crashing the car. 

I turned 18 and because exams were going on, decided to wait for the license. But than, came a string of occasions or reasons that I refrained from getting the license. I kept putting it off.

That burning desire was gone. 

It happens. When you want something very badly and somehow you have to wait for it, the desire just goes away. When you finally get it, its not the same. 

You are not the same. 

Since last week, I had been gathering up documents and getting information from Driving Schools to finally get my Drivers License. But I could not feel that 15 year old me wanting to go to USA vibe anymore.

It was a fine moment. Not an UH-MAZING moment.

But today, I entered the Driving School to finally get my Admittance Card and get everything finalised. All of a sudden, I was that 15 year old Sumaica again. 

It hit me. I am getting my Drivers License. I can finally drive a car. I can stop throwing water on my brother or begging different people to drive me around.

And best of all, I get to listen to whatever I want. There is no one to change the sound track.

...SAP...